“I want to unburden myself; Every week Maxipad Marenbon has taken his cheap shots, and I have been mostly silent. I haven’t said how competing with the Cherwell drama section is like running a race against a man with one leg (you win, but you feel kinda bad about it); I’ve even kept the name puns in relatively good taste.”
Oxfordise — (v.) trans a skill honed over a hundred essay crises: waffling pretentiously to bump up the word count, typically over-using the synonym button in a desperate attempt to hide lack of knowledge.
Gutted you missed your chance with that girl whose smile kindled flames of passion in the Bod?
Genuinely lost the number of the guy you got off with in the corner of Park End?
The Oxford Student can help!
Email [email protected] with a description of your lost potential love.
(No stalkers please.)