Pulp Friction
LAST WEEK: SOPHIE REAPPEARED AFTER PARTY CARNAGE TO ANNOUNCE ENGAGEMENT. SAM BOLLOCKED FOR BEHAVIOUR BY BEST MATE WILL. ANNIE'S EX DAVE BUSTED FOR DEALING WEED.
THIS WEEK: SOME THINGS RESOLVED, BUT NOT OTHERS.
SCENE: SOPHIE and ANNIE, in SOPHIE'S ROOM.
ANNIE ...So when you saw him at the party, you actually didn't know I'd pulled him before? How could you - he stayed the - and then he came back and -
SOPHIE - But I wasn't around, I was in town -
ANNIE - and then we didn't see each other all day, I guess.
SOPHIE (smiling weakly) You should call me when things like that happen!
ANNIE (tartly) Yeah, so you can tell Katie and she can CB-radio it all over town.
SOPHIE Anyway, I'm sorry.
They hug. Sickly moment.
SOPHIE He was just quite - and I was -
ANNIE Well you're welcome to him now. (laughs) Tell you what, we can share him
SOPHIE (strangely) You forget, I'm an engaged woman now. I'm supposed to turn over a new leaf. But...
CUT to INSIDE OF SOPHIE'S HEAD
Style: televised footage of royalty.
SOPHIE in white bridal dress, walks up and down the aisle in Westminster Abbey shaking hands with all the guests in turn. The Queen comes up, offers her hand. Sophie vomits down her dress and apologises. The crowd stand and applaud. The organ strikes up as Alan appears with an enormous ring slung over his arm.
ANNIE ...But what?
SOPHIE (all in a rush) ...But I'm not sure, I don't know what's what, dad likes him they're friends but I don't - he - I think I love him but then again he really, really wants to marry me and I don't want to - oh God - marry anyone!
She collapses in tears. ANNIE thoughtfully pats her on the back.
ANNIE Why not just tell him? Them.
SOPHIE Because he'll not want to see me, Dad'll go - we called home, they're organising an engagement party already, daddy said he's seeing about invites, he's phoned people, everyone knows and they're all really pleased and -
ANNIE But you're only 21.
SOPHIE Yeah, but -
ANNIE - And how old is he?
SOPHIE 32.
ANNIE So Alan's 32, he's asked you to marry him, your parents are bullying you into it, are you going to stand for it? What are you going to do? Do you love Alan?
SOPHIE (limply) I think so, well...Yeah, I do love him. But this is just...
CUT to INSIDE OF SOPHIE'S HEAD
SOPHIE sits on an expensive leather sofa, in Stepford Wife twinset and pearls, sipping a martini. ALAN calls from another room. She gets up and hobbles painfully and obediently out. We realise she has a solid gold ball and chain attached to her Manolo Blahnik-shod ankle.
SOPHIE ...But this is just - I dunno - a bit sudden. And I'm not sure...
She starts sobbing again.
CUT to Annie; on the phone.
ANNIE ...Ali, what's going on? Where's Dave? Is he in custody? I...What? Don't you think I have a bit of a right to know, I went out with him for... Are they holding him? Will he -
CUT to INSIDE OF ANNIE'S HEAD
Style: romantic thriller starring Julia Roberts. Jailbreak Dave climbs the drainpipe, bare-chested in convict trousers, and kidnaps weakly-protesting Annia Roberts. They ride off into the sunset together.
She puts the phone down. It rings. She picks it up.
CUT to SAM, nervously fiddling with the cable on a college payphone.
SAM Annie? Hi...erm...I really need to talk to you
ANNIE What have you got to say for yourself? Come back to have another go? Doesn't anyone else want to have a go? I could ring round my girlfriends for you -
SAM...er, Annie, I - well - Can I come round?
....pause.
ANNIE I don't really want to see you.
...pause
SAM oh. Ok. Be like that.
The phone goes dead.
CUT to INSIDE OF ANNIE'S HEAD
Aspirant-badboy SAM throws the lasso at ANNIE. The music crescendos and collapses in a wah-wah-wah-WAAAH of slapstick trombone disappointment as it flops on the ground, and resolves into telephone cable.
NEXT WEEK: A CONFRONTATION, AND A CONFESSION....ALMOST
15th Feb 2001