OUSU Council having a laugh
ADAM STORCH, CONTROVERSIAL OUSU Vice President-Elect (Graduates), is continuing in his dogged mission to reform OUSU Committee from the inside.
If his dissident motions succeed this Friday at OUSU Council then OUSU may see its executive committee renamed after the formidable Venetian 'Council of Ten' to represent its "totalitarian, nay Stalinist front" and may be forced to dress in sub fusc and gowns at all meetings. This would apparently engender a "more egalitarian and respectful atmosphere".
Mr Storch stood for the post with a manifesto designed to remove the very position of VP (Graduates) within the Student Union. His manifesto proclaimed: "Grant me a sufficient mandate and you will hopefully never see me again in any connection with OUSU."
Instead, this week the University College graduate has proceeded to submit six outlandish proposals for discussion. One endorsing the relevance of 'silly motions' at Council meetings suggests ratifying the idea that: "Silly motions are as momentous a sort of protest and as noble as any struggle of the oppressed that the world has ever known, except perhaps Bolivian basket weavers."
When offered the opportunity to explain how oppressed Bolivian basket weavers actually are, Mr Storch refused to make any comment to the Oxford Student.
George Callaghan, a fellow member of Univ. and Executive Officer at OUSU, did comment upon the VP-Elect's motions and explained that he had "the greatest respect for Adam Storch's judgement."
Callaghan is directly affected, however, by another Storch motion, proposed in the wake of the Bodleian occupation. Believing the occupation to have been "a nuisance to, and great burden for, the university police", Adam Storch has volunteered to pioneer a student auxiliary corp of the university police to help tackle such demonstrations in the future.
In a bizarre move, Callaghan would be appointed 'Captain General' and Storch 'Sergeant Major General' of the force, to be known as 'ASS', the 'Auxiliary Student Service' to the University Police.
George Callaghan admitted that he would be "delighted to assume duties at the earliest possible convenience" and told the OxStu that he would look forward to enacting "just force" against the evil criminal underworld of Oxford undergraduates.
Adam Storch does not seem to be ignorant of the peculiarity of his proposals and has added clauses attacking OUSU's sense of humour if he is defeated. "Certainly Mr Storch is entitled to leave something of an achievement behind him if he loses the referendum?" asks one section. The graduate election of No Confidence in Mr Storch is due to be held on Thursday 22 February.
However, it remains to be seen whether the motions will survive the grilling of OUSU Council or will fall on their ASS.
15th Feb 2001