The Krapton Factor

By Jeremy Cacksman

Okay teams, eyes down, your starter for ten, shut up at the back, don't pick your nose.

1. What colour is love?

2. If I walk backwards at 5 miles an hour on a train going at 100 miles an hour, what the fuck do I think I'm up to?

3. True or false: Gordon Strachan was the blueprint for Gordon on Thomas the Tank Engine?

4. Music now. Name which Prodigy song has this introduction: Whaaa diddle diddle diddle Whaa diddle diddle diddle Whaaaaaaaa OOOOMMMPPHH! chika chika OOOOMMMPPHHH! chika chika....?

5. Who is this famous actor?

6. What are the group nouns for these animals; sparrows, otters, beavers, loons?

7. Why DO birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

8. What is the scientific name for the smell of hypocrisy?

ANSWERS: 1. Dirty pink; 2. I'm French; 3. False, the actual inspiration was divinely given; 4. Pretty much all of them; 5. Robert Redford; 6. Clutch of sparrows, Whimsy of otters, Fucknut of Beavers, Flange of loons; 7. Because you've got lice; 8. Government, my friends, government.

10th Jan 2002