Mummy, why?
Have any members of the A Team ever actually been shot? No, not even close. Despite frequently being pitted against vast hordes of machine-gun wielding Mexicans and cigarillo smoking toughs from New Jersey, B.A. and chums picked up nothing worse than a few mild grazes. The main reason for this was that the bad guys had been trained at the Stormtrooper school of Crap Marksmanship, where indeed all baddies learn their craft. There they train for twelve hours a day, perfecting shooting machine guns so that the bullets pluck at the heels of the running Face and crawling out of upturned jeeps.
Why do Skips stick to your tongue? Skips allegedly contain a cocktail of illegal substances that bond to a moist surface. The reason for this is that, rather than being developed as a tasty corn snack, Skips were originally used as an implement of torture in medieval England. The subject was first stripped naked and dampened using a frog. Then, the torture master would apply more and more Skips to the unfortunate victim's rude areas until the pain was too much to bear. Those strong enough to hold out were sucked dry of their bodily fluids by the rampant pink devils and were turned into Twiglets.
(Matt Reynolds is away)
31st Jan 2002