The Alternative Oxford English Dictionary
Pooskers... that is, buskers who are so bad you'd give them money just to shut up. Whether it is a strange bereted man wearing a fleece that looks like some of the weaker- stomached pedestrians have vomited on him, playing a random selection of notes on a rather piddling flute, adding reverb and calling it music, or a whole gang of slickly-coiffured teddy boys thumping away at double basses and singing the theme tune to Happy Days, they're all inevitably shite. However, on the other side of the street will be a collection of...
Mumsters... tapping their feet loosely in time to the music and possibly singing along. For them this is what makes the weekend worthwhile: some nice live music like they have on Radio Two. These are the sort of people who think Dale Winton is funny; they're the sort of people who buy china figurines advertised on the back of TV Quick; they're the sort of people who go to PC World on a Sunday afternoon because if they don't do something to occupy their fragile little minds they might have to read a book and that involves dribbling. Moving swiftly along then, next you'll pass by some...
Gluechins... namely a group of about 6 or 7 teenage boys and girls who just hang around and try to stamp on pigeons. Every single one of them wears a black hooded top with the name of a band on it that say they worship Satan. The youngest looking one will be puffing cautiously on a fag and pretending to enjoy it. The oldest looking boy, fuelled by the adrenaline of being in a group of idiots and desperate to show off to the girl he fancies, will swear at passers by. You walk on, fondly considering the notion that when you're king none of these people will be allowed to vote.
31st Jan 2002