Axis Of Evil?
The smoke is beginning to circle and the bunkers are filling as Pembroke and Oriel prepare for another chapter in the long history of Oxford college warfare.
They are not alone. The murmur of drums can also be heard in Corpus. When Christ Church in its munificence ruled to provide free breakfasts for its students, Corpus passed a JCR motion to take advantage. Meanwhile, Christ Church JCR members stole Corpus' JCR photo in reprisal for "boisterous" activities at a college bop. It was returned, alleges the Corpus JCR President, when they noticed that "no one really cared."
Rivalries of longer standing continue. Last year saw the umpteenth repetition of the 'Turl St. Run', in which pissed-up Exeter and Jesus rugby players race on their bikes from Teddy Hall, defying gravity, each other's insults, and a police prohibition. Last week, Exeter was besieged by Jesus students determined to batter down their door. Now the Exeter college JCR suggestion book is full to bursting with complicated tactical suggestions for revenge, some of which veer slightly towards the fantastic. Bombarding the gate of Jesus with ballistic sheep is perhaps a project for fulfillment in the longer term.
Across Broad Street matters seem little better. After the Christmas bop last term, a particularly vocal performance of Balliol's traditional anti-Trinity song, the 'Gordouli', led to reprisals. A Christmas tree mysteriously disappeared from the Balliol JCR. And earlier this term, Trinity had their own go at battering down their rivals' front door.
Such events pale into insignificance when compared to even the recent past. Old citizens of LMH still talk in hushed tones of the Northern Alliance (no relation) of 1996. This shadowy organisation, containing elements from several North Oxford colleges, assaulted Magdalen and kidnapped the JCR President. The defeated college was renamed the St. Hugh's Annexe.
This in turn seems but the theft of a traffic cone in comparison to the 'Turl Street Riots' of 1979. One fateful night a group of pissed Jesus and Lincoln students decided to mount an all-out assault on Exeter. They attacked the front gate, and met a hail of water, milk and flour from above. The police were called, someone managed to force a window, and Jesus students were soon running amok through Exeter, letting off fire extinguishers and, er, damaging a lavatory. Some invaders ended up in the pond. The police arrested a few people. You get the picture.
There is wit in some of this criminal damage which should not be missed. In 1962-3, a group from Balliol managed to turf the whole of the Trinity JCR, complete with daffodils. The activities of Balliol's 'Harry Lime' society sometimes raise a smile, for example releasing a green sheep in Trinity's front quad sometime in the '70s or '80s, or projecting 'Bloody Trinity' in red and green onto Trinity Tower in the early 1950s.
Yet these feuds, notably that between Balliol and Trinity, have their sinister elements. On various occasions between 1919 and 1952, Trinity taunts included singing 'bring out your black men' over the Balliol wall, erecting a sign in Broad Street warning of 'Serious Negro Riots in Balliol', and rowing onto the river during Eights Week, blacked-up and in Balliol colours, the cox beating a tom-tom.
Balliol was then one of the few colleges to admit non-whites, whilst Trinity, in a policy abandoned in the 1950s, prided itself on being an all-white college. It is easy to paint Trinity as the only guilty party. Yet we might wonder what Balliol was getting at in the 'Gordouli', a song named after Galetti di Cadilhac, an Anglo-Italian Trinity man who took his nick-name from a make of Egyptian cigarettes. 'The spirit of the song is playful, but it is surely saying: "Anglo-Saxon all-white Trinity, what's Gordouli doing amongst you?"'
Regardless of its chequered history, college warfare is an Oxford institution that is here to stay. Cats will be lost, war cabinets formed and even bops raided, but the real question is: Will Christ Church ever make any friends outside of its own walls?
Causes of Conflict - Lawn Jealousy - Superiority complex - Proximity
History of Events - 450 year rivalry - 1962 Turfing of Trinity JCR - MT 2001 Gordouli singing, climbing of Trinity gate - HT 2002 door bashing of Balliol
Causes of Conflict - Christ Church
History of Events - Perpetual warfare and hatred, Pembroke superiority complex - HT 2002 Corpus try to steal ChCh breakfast
Causes of Conflict - Turl Street proximity - Cultural differences
History of Events - 1979 Turl Street Riots (Jesus & Lincoln - Exeter) - Annual Turl Street Run (Police permitting...) - HT 2002 Door battering of Exeter
7th Feb 2002