Love Fairies
We're in the KA on a Thursday afternoon. We sit, huddled in a corner, hands gripping pints firmly, knuckles white, eyes locked on our home-made red netting wings. The photographer polishes his zoom lens
expectantly. We are the fairies of love. The enormity of the challenge ahead of us has just sunk in.
It had seemed like a fun, frivolous task when Features Editor and good friend Claire McGowan suggested it: "It'd be like Oxford Streetmate - you know, you two would be like Davina McCall!" And we had been fooled. Should be fun, we thought. Setting people up... making people happy... oh how wrong we had been. Suddenly, we were realising all the flaws in the plan. We needed an attractive boy or girl, who was not only dateable but also up for making a fool of themselves. We didn't need dates, we needed victims. We drank our pints. Fast.
Ten minutes later we were hanging out of the Bridge of Sighs for our preliminary portraits, bows, arrows, wings, and wands a plenty. The window was small and restrictive. We didn't fit. Gareth, our photographer, was yelling at us from the street below to "lean out more". Ignoring the gawping tourists and the spikes which were dangerously close to puncturing our jugulars, we leant out. And smiled.
After some close-ups under the bridge, we set off in search of a girl or a boy to make Oxford love with. Full of hope and high spirits we skipped off down Brasenose Lane. It started to rain. We should have realised. We should have turned back. Instead we headed off for the Covered Market, convinced that love would blossom in its cute, cosy, vaguely meat-smelling alleys. Or maybe not. Stumbling out onto the High Street we spied some likely victims. Running up, we tried to explain. Love, date, Davina McCall... the two girls looked vaguely confused and suddenly had to go home for the weekend. Feeling slightly disheartened, we looked around us and realised that we had lost our photographer and editor somewhere in the meat stalls. So there we were, two dishevelled, soggy fairies, waving our plastic wands, our red netting wings now torn and blown out of shape by the wind... Things were not looking good.
And they didn't get any better. The rain got harder and the people got ruder and more reluctant to talk to us. Shouts of "freak!" got louder, people's excuses got more elaborate, the quest for love was failing. And then, just as we were giving up hope, we saw two lovely boys emerging from a sports shop. Deciding to make full use of our feminine charms, we set about convincing Nicholas and Nicholas to come and find a girl with us.
Luck was on our side. Being Brookes students, they not only had more natural courage but also they were less fearful of all of their friends reading about their desperate exploits to find a date. With the single Nicholas in tow and his attached friend following at a cautious distance, we searched the streets and coffee shops of Oxford for a suitable mate.
Nicholas was, however, a little more picky than we had expected and the beauties in Blackwells were not tempting enough. Suddenly, we had a spark of inspiration. We knew of exactly the right place for Nicholas. Hertford library, that hot bed of beautiful people. Unfortunately the library was empty. Well there was one biochemist mumbling in a corner, but he was a he and not all that pretty. Nicholas didn't seem to share our sense of urgency. The fairies of love sighed, their hearts and wings heavy. The photographer had gone back to write an essay. Nicholas didn't seem at all worried that we had not yet so much as spoken to a potential love match.
We, the fairies of love, exchanged sideways glances. It was getting dark. And cold. And embarrassing.
We slunk into the lodge past the Matriculation photos. Ah ha. A perfect opportunity for Nicholas to find the love of his life, maybe? We were wholly encouraging as he cast his discerning eye over the lovely Hertford ladies. This was after he had found the pictures of his two new friends, the love fairies, and laughed. A lot. His eyes then came to rest upon the beautiful Beth, 2nd year lawyer, lovely lady and, as luck would have it, a close friend. Nicholas was certainly sold. We were halfway there. Go go love fairies. The end was in sight.
It must have been fate, because Beth was already happily installed in the KA with the rugby team and her juice and gin ('Ragamuffin'). One phone call, one persuasive chat outside the History Faculty with the love fairy, one awkward introduction and a few steps later Nicholas, his friend Nicholas, lovely Beth, the very lovely love fairies and Claire 'Features' McGowan were all sitting snuggly around a table in the back room of the KA.
Drinks bought, small talk squeezed out, love fairies' wings shedded and you'd almost think we were all jolly friends. The photo shoot directed by Claire went swimmingly well: "Kneel down on one knee and give Beth this heart lollipop. It'll look great on page 4!" No awkwardness there then!
And so perhaps not a match made in heaven. But as the fairies of love we have to defend ourselves. We found a boy. We found a girl. They were both lovely and personally we think they'd have beautiful children. Admittedly the circumstances were extremely awkward, but numbers were exchanged, and who knows, maybe one day...?
"So how about next week guys?" We looked at each other. We walked out of the KA. We threw our fairy wings of love in the bin and walked off into the rain.
Name: Beth Mason Studies: Law Hobbies: Gin, cheer-leading,TV, going out, watching rugby She said: " I'm going to kill you guys....This is sooooooo embarrassing!" Sorry Beth!
Name: Nicholas Wright (Mr Wright!) Studies: Psychology, Anthropology and Sociology Hobbies: Rock-climbing, cookery, photography He said: "So, fancy coming for a drink in Brookes sometime? Doubles cost a pound!" Well, we were hooked....
14th Feb 2002