The Alternative Oxford English Dictionary
Booty-Shaker... the sort of house party where anything can, and will, happen. People will be dancing in the street outside as cars pull up full of bikini-clad women who shout, "Yeah, party-time!" a lot. Inside, there is a keg of beer and lots of liquor that everyone drinks out of mysterious coloured beakers. At some stage in the evening there'll be limbo dancing and someone will be thrown out of a window by a group of bikers who have arrived uninvited and set light to the sofa. Every single room in the house will be used for sexual purposes. There will be at least one threesome. This is the party of your dreams. It does not exist. No house party is ever this good. Instead we have the classic...
Bum-Quaker... which is the sort of party where all the people who you only invited out of courtesy arrive first. Inevitably they'll be drinking Hoffmeister and will break your fridge. They're the first to form a...
Magic Circle... a collection of people in your kitchen who have nothing to say, so instead form a perfect circle and all try not to look at each other. They drink instead of talking and so rapidly get absolutely ming-monged. Elsewhere you will find the...
Stairway To Heaven... a group of popular people clogging up the stairs, wherein lie some very important social codes. The one roughly in the middle is the most important. The one at the top is too far removed to join in, the one at the bottom looks like a lackey. Still they're more fun than the...
Non-rolling Stones... who make the most comfortable room into a hot box and swiftly get so caned they cannot speak. The only thing left to do is listen to the...
Raging Bulls... the couple that no-one's met who are having really loud sex in the loo and shouting things like, "Use the brush!"
21st Feb 2002