Dear Professor Peregrine...
Dear Professor Peregrine,
Having paraded myself like a common strumpet to the national press, this week a very unkind doll from a downmarket London rag slagged me off as a 'wanker'. This distressed and made me cry into my Red Bull like never before. Is there a way back to a career in journalism?
Pro-Plus addict, St Peter's
My dear old chap, time to start focussing more on your fresh talent as a writer and less what irrelevant Londonistas think of your emailing and news writing abilities. Might you pass on your emailing tasks to your newly-acquired sidekick?
Dear Professor Peregrine
Despite being one of the hardest working students in Oxford, I have an uncontrollable urge to look up quasi-pornographic images every single week in the course of my studies, and in a university building too. What can I do to stay focussed on the task at hand, as it were?
Running from vice, St Peter's
My dear girl, it's clearly the company you are keeping. Time to make a clean break and get some new features in your life to brighten up those long Monday nights.
Dear Professor Peregrine
I can't help tripping up cabinet ministers in the course of my daily peramblings in this fair city. Please help.
No news is good news, Keble
A similar incident happened to me when I was an undergraduate working on a downmarket rag in existence then. As long as he fosters no resentment, your future is bright old bean.
If you have a problem, please write to Professor Peregrine via
features@oxfordstudent.com
22nd Jan 2004