Dear Professor Peregrine...
Dear Professor Peregrine,
Checking my email becomes such a bind in our instant communication society these days. With the rate of change in this college, we're really not attuned to it all. This week I was sent an email of the, well, pornographic nature by a joker who undoubtedly has no life. I found it terribly offensive and certainly not nearly as informative as the weekly missives from dear old Gran, who is something of a silver surfer. What is a girl to do when this filth penetrates my inbox?
Non-Hildabeast, St Hilda's
Delete purge my dear, delete purge. And do reply to dear old Gran: we senior citizens can be quite dab hands at these things, perhaps not even using the word 'newfangled' once in a while.
Dear Professor Peregrine,
Having got totally wankered last night, I decided, in my infinite wisdom, to pin a charming young lad, known to me, it must be said, to the wall at the New College bop. I've been told this pinning took a shocking 90 minutes, during which I tried to pour water over his head. I then leant along three people and shouted "Who am I pinning down?" Have I gone completely off the rails, Prof?
Pinball, Teddy Hall
Put it down to experience old bean. The chap was probably enjoying every minute of it.
Dear Professor Peregrine,
Having had a few crisps playfully thrown at me on Sunday I suddenly felt an uncontrollable urge to throw an entire tube of Pringles at the offender, almost taking his eye out. Am I out of control?
No news is good news, Keble
Yes.
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12th Feb 2004