Baby, it's cold outside
Sunday 25th January was a sad and contentious occasion - in a rare moment of blindness, Times Style made an unusually imperceptive declaration: "Ugly Thermals. Perfectly horrid, even when dyed baby pink or lime green." Oh how very wrong the high and mighty of the fashion press can be!
After years of objecting to the way the saggy crotch pulled your dodgy lumo ski pants down, it's time to make peace with these soft and secretly sexy winter warmers and re-introduce them to your freezing thong-clad bottom. As every sassy granny knows, there is nothing quite so simultaneously snuggly and ridiculously retro chic as an inch of that stretchy knitted fabric peeking at the collar of a shirt or the waistline of a tiny cashmere pullover, and all the better if they are "baby pink or lime green" (very Marc for Marc Jacobs, very textured).
Be aware, though, that the smugness you will feel as you stroll cosily past all those shivering wrecks could drive you to addiction and you may find yourself having to purchase several varieties of vest (long sleeved, short sleeved, sleeveless, strappy with lace at the chest) and a couple of pairs of leggings (only your dad will insist on calling them long johns) for lounging about the house and writing essays and watching Murder She Wrote in. However this would not signify a decline in your status as a sofa styler, but much to the contrary would liven up your trackies and T-shirt uniform with a bit of cling and flattering crinkle. Plus following extensive personal research, it can be confirmed that your man will not be able to keep his paws off you in thermals...something to do, I suspect, with the way the woven cotton clings to the body and the dotted pattern accentuates all the best curves, and not only, as he points out, because the fabric is so soft.
Cut long in the body, and often with a scoop neckline, thermal vests are perhaps the most flexible winter garment ever, going from underwear to party wear to rowing kit without failing in sass or function at any occasion. And as for the leggings, they can shout retro from under a pair of battered jeans or be your dirty secret tucked into your socks. However, you might need to fold the waistband down as it tends to venture dangerously close to the ribcage - ideal for the new super high-waisted Chloe jeans but not with the usual crack-skimming bumsters - and if they tangle with your undercrackers just go without (definitely a winner on the home front).
Whether you're on a neon flashdance trip or a more puritanical white M&S vibe, thermals are an easy, flattering way to do layering, and when you're over it they can be relegated to the skiing draw with those disgustingly sweaty socks that live there. And they are not (thermals that is, not synthetic socks) as anti-fashion as one might expect. With old-school underwear and layered knits rocking it on the catwalk this season, the thermal should satisfy not only your comfort craving body but also your fashion forward mind, crossing from chilly springtime into steamy summer and providing a quick dose of mix and match and a long lasting bedtime favourite. In "baby pink or lime green" they are the sweetest way to stay toasty in a picturesque Oxford snowstorm.
Kasia Maciejowska
12th Feb 2004