Face to Face
Tom and Leila
Ah, the facebook. Before it arrived, the internet was a barren, dreary place, where none but the desperate, lonely and vulnerable could call a home, searching wearily for a crumb of recognition in a world that had all but forgotten them. But tucked away in an obscure corner of the world wide web, the answer to their prayers was lurking.
Developed in a secret US military base in the upper reaches of the Ural mountains, The Facebook was designed to monitor the communication networks of rebel dissidents in Siberia. Then the top brass got bored and started poking each other. And like an unstoppable behemoth, the facebook we know and love was born.
Soon you could list your favourite movies, post up witty quotes that never quite managed to make you look cool and spend hours trying to decide exactly which photo to choose for your profi le that would show the world just how stunningly beautiful/lovingly eccentric/ wild party-going you thought you were. Yet despite all this, the one thing you couldn’t do was fi nd love. However, my dear readers, with the help of Face to Face and The Oxford Student, that is about to change.
Armed with little more than a laptop and an insatiable sense of curiosity as to the depths humanity could plunge to, we got matchmaking... At fi rst glance, Tom and Leila do not appear to be the perfect match. Tom’s favourite music is Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd and The Prodigy. Leila’s is acapella and cheese. Tom’s favourite quotes included a philosophical musing by the late comedian Bill Hicks and some wisdom from Eddie Izzard.
Leila’s choices were “Abso-fucking-lutely!” and “Unbe-fucking-lievable!”. I had to admit things didn’t look promising. On the other hand, they both listed George Orwell amongst their favourite books and Leila’s ‘Moderate’ political views seemed to sit reasonably comfortably with Tom’s ‘Libertarian’ ones. If conversation fl agged they could always discuss the impending Lib Dem leadership contest.
And could Leila’s remarkable hobbies (such as running the excitingly-titled ‘GeologySoc’) really be so incompatible with Tom’s position as a drummer in a band? They both involve rock after all. With a growing sense of optimism, I sallied forth to the restaurant...
What Tom thought of the date: “Overall I’d say it went pretty smoothly. I wasn’t too nervous - with free food and alcohol, what was there to worry about? Apparently Leila was worried I might be American though...they scare her. As the night went on her sense of comedy and randomness came out and her accent became progressively more northern. She admitted having a fetish about windfarms and acapella bands, possibly simultaneously. She has an irrational fear of burglars playing poker in her bathroom ... a common fear in women apparently. Overall, conversation was easy fl owing, no awkward silences. There was no dramatic spark of passion either, but a good fun night of chat. We didn’t exchange contact details but in the days of facebook a name is all that’s needed, and I expect we’ll meet up at some point.”
What Leila thought of the date: “Tom seemed like a pretty decent guy, and was generally easy to talk to. I wasn’t really nervous before the date, what’s the worst that could have happened? I’d be matched with a complete asshole? Or an utter minger? In any case, I’d get an evening in a nice restaurant with someone to talk to or, more appropriately, at. My first impression was that he seemed like a nice boy. Not a chav, not a minger, not someone who seemed totally introverted or up his own ass.
Once Jack and the photographer buggered off and the wine started fl owing, conversation soon followed. We chatted about quite a lot of different things; fi lms, music, alcohol, obsessions (if he says I like to do anything sexual with/in windmills, it’s not true). He and I seemed to have similar tastes, and a similar sense of humour.
I think we could have talked for a lot longer, and indeed, when the restaurant owners were making evils at us to leave, we went on a quest for a pub with a late license. I certainly felt very comfortable in his company. I thought Tom was a nice guy at the beginning of the date, and my opinion of him only improved over the evening.
Was there a spark? Possibly so, but only if he doesn’t say anything toooo bitchy! We’re now the closest of facebook friends and I won’t be hiding in the shadows to avoid him.
12th Jan 2005