The Oxford People
Fruit thief inspires wannabe Nancy Drew
One Teddy Hall first year was left exceedingly confused on Saturday night, after she returned to her room to find the whole place ransacked. Her clothes were taken out of their drawers, and the intruder had evidently given her room a complete going over. However, despite the jewellery and money available to him, the thief only decided to take her fruit supplies.
When questioned as to whether she would be pursuing the phantom apple thief, the student said it presented an extremely exciting detective story. Watch out, Nancy Drew.
Oxford Gossip
OxGoss sprang into life earlier this week as one poster promised mega gossip about Hollywood royalty. Journohacks leapt into action in an attempt to scoop the Daily Mail, but imagine their disappointment when it turned out that the brilliant story was shit.
The paper revealed that Terry Jones’ girlfriend, a Hertford student, had taken up belly-dancing. Apparently, the ex-Python felt their love life was not satisfying enough. Not a bad story, except rumour has it she’s been bellydancing for years • well before the two shacked up.
Potential attendees to Magdalen Ball have been left disappointed when trying to buy tickets through what they thought was the ball’s website. When logging onto www.magdalenball. co.uk, students are informed that all tickets have sold out, and instead advised to visit www.orielball. com. Apparently, Oriel’s organisers bought the site and have been attempting to garner some business by redirecting customers for the rival ball. Try www.magdalenball.com instead.
Hildabeasts go bananas for their pyjamas
It appears that Hilda’s has become far too comfortable for its own good. In a recent email to the entire JCR, one concerned fellow, Dr A.M. Cooper-Sarkar, politely asked students to keep their clothes on for a change. “Members of the college staff have brought it to my notice that some of you feel so much at home in St Hilda’s that you are walking around the public areas of the college somewhat scantily clad,” it said. “If you are late for breakfast please at least wear a dressing gown”.
Sshhh...
Which Christ Church second year was caught in a particularly embarrassing solitary situation, when his fellow student adopted the novel approach of entering his room via the window?
Which unsteady Greyfriars student finally admitted his own alcoholism after getting battered at subject drinks at 4pm?
ONLINE EXCLUSIVE: Which Cherwell editor may have to face proctorial action after claims that he has been harassing journalists at the rival paper over worries that the content of this column will endanger his current (heterosexual) relationship?
Got gossip? Got drunk? Email people@oxfordstudent.
2nd Feb 2006