Malpractice is such an ugly word
The Union decided to talk about publicity this week. This isn’t unusual since most people running in any sort of election make sure they talk about themselves all the time. This time we had the best selfpublicist in Britain, pig pleasurer and female toilet trader, Rebecca Loos. At last the dainty figure spoke. Fluttering her eyelashes, Ms Loos informed the Chamber that having a mistress was “perfectly normal for any married man.” “Tut, tut,” most will say.
But then it keeps middle age interesting, I suppose. Later in the week, there was controversy as it emerged that returning officer Jo Lee Morrison was resigning as Deputy Returning Officer for next term. We can only hope that this loss won’t ‘sap’ the will of the society to hold fair and free elections. OUCA Council this week was a big moment for the Treasurer. He stated that, “Such was the confidence of the Association in our abilities, we were elected unopposed.
This is an interesting spin • it would seem that members have been so confident of everyone’s abilities that there hasn’t been an opposed election in six terms. And we thought they were just (a)pathetic. “I have no desire to serve in a rahs’ social club and I would never have joined had I thought that that was what the Association was!” cried the outraged, out-going Treasurer.
Those present looked around rather guiltily at each other, shrugged their shoulders and went back into their slumber, thinking about the coming weekend’s beagling. The tirade was then brought to bear on the President: “I am sure that you will not be voluntarily removing your dead hand from power any time soon,” he mused. One could see that the new Iron Lady wanted to demonstrate that her hand was in fact very much alive by slapping her rebellious minion into shape, sadly it was not to be.
Meanwhile, over at OUSU, the machinations of the Politbureau continued as the open wound of deficit was soothed by the balm of several thousand pounds of cuts and the firm (some might say desperate) belief that the university would never let such an important student body go down the tubes.
In real terms this meant that the OUSU reps meeting (more fun than any funeral you care to mention), never an over-attended event at the best of times, found itself with just two reps and no member of the executive • and who says efficiency could be improved? Elsewhere in the towers on Bonn square, a hasty check that it was unfeasible to start selling suits and white bow-ties as well as cut-price gowns ensured that the poll on the future of subfusc in exams so ardently desired by the exec was allowed to go ahead by the real powers that be on the business team.
2nd Feb 2006