Face to Face
Alix and Dan
As Bill Clinton is only too aware, mixing politics and romance is a messy business. Whenever the two worlds have collided in the past, there has been an explosion of sparks, scandal and, all too often, semen. Four years ago, for example, MPs complained of being inundated with ‘highly offensive’ pornography at their Westminster email addresses, prompting an urgent security review of the House of Commons internet network.
A Conservative MP even admitted to a packed parliamentary chamber that one erotic site he ‘accidentally’ logged on to whilst following up a constituent’s enquiry (which presumably ran along the lines of, “Where can residents of Hove East access tasteful yet titillating images of farmyard smut?”) was so fascinating that he almost missed the Commons’ division bell. And then of course there is the tricky issue of politicians and extra-marital illicit sex.
Every political party has had its fair share of adulterous hanky-panky, the details of which, unluckily for them, ended up in the public domain. David Mellor, we discovered, possessed a fetish for copulating whilst wearing his Chelsea shirt; David Blunkett had an affair and, poor chap, became embroiled in a media controversy that even he didn’t see coming. Then we have the Liberal Democrats, whose internal wranglings are normally about as spicy as a damp chicken korma.
These days, far from being the party of unspeakable tedium, it appears that becoming caught up in a sordid gay sex scandal is a rite of passage for any would-be leadership contender. We can conclude, therefore, that romance and politics are far from being mutually exclusive pursuits, even though the consequences of dabbling with them concurrently are usually dire.
But although this may be the case in the marble halls of Westminster, would it hold true in the far less glamorous and distinctly more gimpy sphere of Oxford student politics? Eager to fi nd out, we chased down some desperate singletons from the port and cigarladen world of OUCA (the university’s Conservative Association) and the beer and sandwiches-fuelled fi efdom of OULC (Oxford’s Labour Club).
In the spirit of scientifi c enquiry, we threw Dan - a Labour stalwart who hails from Yorkshire and is currently mounting a one-man campaign to save subfusc - and Alix, who is one of the few people brave enough to describe herself as ‘Very Conservative’ on her facebook profi le, thus showing herself to be imbued with about as much political awareness as Terry Wogan is with musical taste.
Could a girl whose political views are about as popular in modern Britain as Slobodan Milosevic was with Kosovan torture victims possibly fi nd love with a raving left-winger? We met at Kazbar to fi nd out...
What Alix thought of the date:
“Was I nervous before the date? Very; I took some horse tranquilisers in the JCR beforehand. My fi rst impression on meeting Dan was that he was dark and dashing; quite how I’d always imagined Odysseus, the hero of Homer’s epic poem, in fact.
The date went very well. Conversation fl owed easily and we chatted about everything from Disraeli’s foreign policy to Nietzsche. There was a strong positive correlation between the amount I drank and Dan’s attractiveness.
If I had one tiny criticism it would be that he was a bit posher than the boys I usually go for, particularly when he kept on saying ‘yah’! There wasn’t too much politics talk as I don’t know anything about it • I’m an OUCA member but feel exactly like Bridget Jones does at Mark Darcy’s annual lawyers’ dinner when I’m at OUCA events!! I think it would be fair to say there was a spark as we had a quick (and by that time very drunken) kiss on Magdalen Bridge on the way home.
No swapping of phone numbers but contact details are superfl uous in the facebook era, where knowing someone’s name is all that’s needed. Will we see each other again? The wedding invitations are going to print at Smythsons as we speak…”
What Dan thought of the date:
“We happened upon each other outside the restaurant, and actually managed to introduce ourselves before ‘ePimp’ Jack even arrived.
We must have been obvious to each other from the lost looks on our faces, although this soon subsided. Alix seemed very relaxed and easy to talk to from the start, even before we were seated. It soon became apparent that conversation was not going to be a problem, as we seamlessly skipped between topics, forcing the waitress to return several times to try and take the orders.
We soon discovered a joint interest in travelling, uncovering each other’s gap year and holiday stories and discovering a joint passion for Italy. We talked about our university experiences thus far, and found we had a few joint friends at Keble who Alix knew through OUCA. The conversation was fl uent enough to let us relax and enjoy the evening; the three hours we spent on the date seemed to fl y past.
We continued the date throughout our walk home, and found we lived only a stone’s throw away from each other. Despite the discovery that we stood on opposite sides of the political divide, this did not get in the way of the conversation, and we found that our views on many topics were not that dissimilar, from animal rights to subfusc! We exchanged names, which seems enough of a contact detail in this modern era of facebook, and will surely see each other again through our mutual friends.
Perhaps if the Conservatives and Labour come any ideologically closer together we may also fi nd ourselves supporting the same party some day...”
23rd Feb 2006