Political Sketch
Charles Kennedy has got news for us. Britain needs the Liberal Democrats. He has noticed that people are pretty disappointed with Labour since the last election. A lot people are fairly worried by William Hague's 'headcase' agenda. Of course they can't win the next election, but for decent, civilised people the Lib Dems have a lot going for them. We should have a proper debate on cannabis. Europe isn't some giant ogre that will eat us all for breakfast, but there is need for discussion, reform and a referendum on the single currency.
It is wrong that life-long homosexual partners do not have visitation rights in hospitals, simply because they aren't married. The Lib Dems are the best thing on offer at the moment.
One thing that the Charles Kennedy said during the summer conference was that, in the event of a hung parliament, he would co-operate with Labour. Blair considered Lib Dem Cabinet members even though he had a majority of well over a hundred. The two parties are in coalition in Scotland. The Lib Dems have actually leaned far further left than Labour in recent winds, and a link up with the Tories was never really on the cards. However, the official announcement sets in stone the result of a hung parliament: a Lib-Lab pact.
The Lib Dems swinging to Labour is in one sense a great shame. William Hague would make a wonderful Prime Minister. He never fails to remind me of William Pitt the Younger, as portrayed in Blackadder. No more than a snotty brat, Pitt had crumpets stored between bum-cheeks at school and is tested on his Latin by the leader of the Opposition. The image of Hague demanding to renegotiate the Treaty of Rome, failing, and then throwing a tantrum and sucking his thumb is an enduring one.
A Lib-Lab pact has the potential to please a lot of people. Blair couldn't be so smug if he had two parties to worry about, with the Old Left snapping at his heels. It would make him more receptive if he had to bargain with the Lib Dems over everything, and watch his back in case they revolted. Hague could sit and sulk in opposition, telling everyone how unfair it was, and demanding that Mummy goes and speaks to the Headmaster.
With the Lib Dems in office, electoral reform would be back on the agenda. Politics has never been held in such low esteem in Britain. Voter turnout is at its lowest level to date. More people voted on Big Brother than did at the European elections. People don't vote because it won't make a difference and the choice on offer is so dull and uninspiring. But imagine the situation if we had some kind of PR system. Every vote would count, and the Lib Dems could fight on a level playing field. More people would be represented in some form in
the government and politicians would have to reach sensible agreements and not simply bicker all of the time. Arguing that stable government isn't possible doesn't really work. Germany has managed pretty well. And imagine how exciting it would be.
The permutations of election results are endless. Will we have an outright winner? Will we have a Red-Yellow, a Blue-Orange or a kind of Opaque Purple governing coalition? Will stable government even be possible as coalitions collapse during the term of a parliament? Election night would become like the last day of the football season, as European places are decided. The goal difference at 6 different matches suddenly becomes important, with commentators scratching their heads to see if Owen's last minute equaliser at West Ham means
Liverpool qualify ahead of Sunderland, who beat Ipswich 2-0. Imagine the BBC's Political staff trying to work out the effect of the rise in the Lib Dem vote in Sheffield, and if it is offset by Labour gains in Skegness. Sadly, as the Jenkins Report
on a shelf somewhere, any sort of immediate reform is unlikely.
So let your sense of mischief be your guide. When the next election comes, whether you agree with them or not, only one decision makes sense. Vote Lib Dem, and then go home and watch the fun begin.
12th Oct 2000