Ruby Perera's World of Sex
So, I have to do that with more than one boy?
My advice is to sleep with as many people as you can...
So, you think you?re hard enough for a one night stand? You feel hedonistic, adventurous? frustrated? You?ve found some likely target in lectures or in college, you?re armed with your free condoms from the fresher?s fair and tanked up with booze. What could possibly go wrong?, I hear you ask. I am single and I need sex. In fact, having sex is essential in order for me to write this essay. Therefore, I shall go fuck an unsuspecting fresher or a panicking finalist. This is all well and good. The sheer act of increasing the level of sexual activity in the central ward cannot be a bad thing. Nevertheless, are you entirely sure that you?re capable of coming and going? It?s not just women who get clingy after sex, especially in Eerie Oxford. Once you get that gorgeous blonde home and shag them senseless, are you quite convinced that you won?t enjoy it so much that you spend the rest of term grieving for said blonde?s departure after morning coffee? On the other hand, if you?re a practised one-nighter, it is essential that you acquire your partner?s consent before you remove their underwear. The spectacle of their sobbing broken heart, or the danger of being stalked for the rest of your degree are not attractive prospects.
There are songs, poems and entire films devoted to the one night stand. Whether you go for The Partridge Family, Janis Joplin or The Aloof, it is possible to enact your exploits to a descriptive soundtrack. The fascination with one night stands seems a little hard to explain in these liberated times. Mention in passing that you had a shag last night and watch eyebrows raise almost imperceptibly, aware of their anachronistic behaviour but titillated anyway. Sex should not be restricted to smug Oxford couples only. For those who are single, there is the great advantage of having sex without having to squeeze time for a significant other into your busy social life. Of course, not all one night stand motivation is so pure.
Sometimes there are itches which just have to be scratched.
Coming out of a relationship is likely to make one crave sex with someone, anyone but your ex. Ah, the disasters which have sprung from such desperation. Ditto if you?ve asked out the shag of your dreams and been turned down. Were you to be indulging in a therapeutic one night stand and cry out the name of your beloved, things could become rather messy. Nonetheless, what better way to mend a broken heart than with some total recklessness? One night stands do indeed require some nasty realism and a serious stripping of romantic ideals, but considering the numbers of Oxford students planning their weddings, this is actually much needed. This is not the start of a big unexpected whirlwind romance where you fall madly, passionately, instantly in love immediately following copulation. However much you?re denying it, if this is secretly what you want, sex is not the answer to your problems. Neither will it be a dead-cert for the best sex of your life. I know, I know. A one night stand that isn?t intensely satisfying isn?t worth the time you spent shagging. Sadly, nothing in this life is guaranteed.
If you fall into bed with someone you just met in Park End, ooooh, that was foolish. Of course, you could wake up next to God. Or you could wake up next to one of the seven dwarves. Once it?s done, it?s done. Take God?s number, or send the dwarf on his way. Still, there?s nothing more satisfying than reeling in your target, in full knowledge that you?ll be swaggering late into your lectures. For an instant buzz, a great ego lift, and obviously some much-needed shagging, the one night stand is the way to go. Unfortunately there?s that ugly word ?reputation? we must ever be aware of. No-one wants their caption in their college yearbook to read ?sleeps with anything?. You wouldn?t want to show the grandchildren.
This is, of course, no reason not to fulfil your libido to the best of your ability. Legs were made to open, right? Only open them wisely, not just whenever someone knocks.
12th Oct 2000