All White On The Night
BARRY WHITE KICKED off the list of top guest speakers when he spoke at the Union on Monday night and offered Oxford students a very special lesson in love.
He seemed rather overwhelmed when he was greeted by over 1000 students in the debating chamber, perhaps not quite realising the popularity he has gained from the student's favourite law drama Ally Macbeal.
For all those expecting to be bombarded with talk of lurve there was no disappointment, he just couldn't avoid the inevitable questions about chat-up lines and the secret of his success with women and so provided a plentitude of advice for the male audience, stressing honesty as the best policy:
"I have honesty in front of me, I don't need chat-up lines."
So how does he win the ladies?
"I say to them what I'm feeling, what I'm thinking.
"I like the way you look baby. I would LOVE to know you better."
When asked if he made love to his own music, apparently a common usage for his music the world over, he replied:
"I don't make love to no-one's music, least of all my own. I don't need any music to make love to my lady. Music is the last thing on my mind when I'm in the mood for love."
His final lesson in love was on how best to treat a lady.
"My advice is to treat a lady like a lady," but there was also a message for the female students, "A lady should act like a lady".
The odd intellectual question was also posed giving Barry White the opportunity to show himself to be a sensitive campaigner for anti-racism issues.
However, the general tone of the evening was light-hearted with Barry even being asked what his favourite cartoon character was.
Above all he showed himself to be the deep-voiced professor of love that we all expected with his modesty just confirming his perfection in the eyes of the student audience.
"I don't look on myself as a sex god. I'm just Barry Eugene White.
It only remains to be seen whether his lessons in love work for all those men out there. Ladies, you be the judge.
12th Oct 2000