Pulp Friction
CUT to ANNIE?S ROOM. A little while later. Pitch dark.
Columns: Ask Ruby
Dear Ruby,
Columns: issue 6: reach for the stars
So, it's fifth week. Feeling a bit blue, are we? After half a term of shit essays, maybe a good old shag just isn't enough to lift the insane malaise that seems to overtake us at this time every term. Sex doesn't have to be bad to need livening up. It's raining outside, you've got a hangover, and a strong incentive is needed to even bother to shag. The obvious answer to sexual boredom is a change in partner. However much you like tomato soup, one day you'll get tired of it and go for chicken and mushroom. But even fresh meat may not be enough to light your fire. n the lovely, sexually sterile environment that is Oxford, the delights of exciting new underwear may be sexual de rigour, but sex toys are still condemned as the playthings of loose women and sleazy men. However, fifth week is upon us, and it's dark at five o clock. The time has come to stop being satisfied with sex that's only satisfactory. The myth that only slags create their own orgasms is seriously in need of being overturned, as is the one that couples who use sex toys are sexually deficient. On the contrary, thinking of ways to make sex better indicates that one must be pretty good at it already. And what could possibly be wrong with having orgasms independently of outside assistance? It simply shows initiative. Why have good sex when you can have amazing sex? A little hedonism, if you don't mind....
Columns: Getting Thrown Out Of...
Legends abound about Cafe Co-Co. Someone once told me in hushed tones that Cafe Co-Co was where Radiohead used to hang out, and rumour has it that Supergrass named their debut album "I Should Coco" after this very restaurant. However, as unlikely as these rumours sound, the most ridiculous rumour I?ve heard is the rumour that this place isn?t complete crap. It is. Of that there is no doubt. In fact, if Supergrass actually ever had the misfortune to visit this little dump, they would probably have renamed their album ?I Should (Steer The Fuck Clear Of Cafe) Coco?. At least that way they?d be offering useful advice. On the other hand, those searching the massively depressing creative inspiration behind "The Bends" need look no further than the price column on the bar list. Whenever I tell people about my dislike of Cafe Co-Co, they always reply "Oh, but it?s quite cool. I mean, it?s got a clown in a bathtub and everything." I really don?t get this. Putting a clown in a bathtub in the middle of the restaurant does not make Cafe Co-Co a good restaurant. It makes it a crap restaurant with a clown in a bathtub in it....
Columns: Because I'm worth it
I have always believed that I can achieve whatever I want to. Yet what happens when we are confronted by a highly competitive group of people where everybody is just as determined and equally capable? It is in such circumstances that we may be tempted to play the state school card, the race card, and dare I say it, the gender card. These 'trump' cards are means of insulating ourselves from the reality and consequences of competition....
Columns: Survival of the prettiest
A woman sits in the library, studying psychology. She has glossy dark hair and smooth skin. Her flimsy, low cut top has fallen slightly to one side, revealing just a teasing glimpse of her cleavage. As you walk towards her she looks up from her book, over the top of her glasses, setting her deep brown eyes straight on yours....