Singles
Simian like to be thought of as musically anarchic. If you listen to 'One Dimension', you will soon realise that this claim is balls. Sounding like one of the duller moments of Magical Mystery Tour, the song is limp improved only slightly by a plump, bouncing bass line. They aspire to being 'classic' (i.e. like the Beatles) and fool themselves that no one will buy One Dimension because of its 'left-field sensibilities'. In truth, they are as musically conservative as any Britpop, cowering behind the music of the sixties whilst not sufficiently imaginative or gifted to write anything remotely challenging.
James Lee
"I want to get down/ You spin me around". Fuck you. In the press release, it says that Alcazar have been mentioned in the same breath as Abba and Daft Punk. Well, I guess it must have gone something like this: "Daft Punk are Gallic pioneers, and Abba pushed the barriers of pop and classical music together, whereas Alcazar are just stale jism". If you see a copy of this bland and pointless piece of shit, starting with the traditional cut and repeat Fatboy Slimism and continuing in the vein of Phats and Small, burn it; then think of the authors burning in the flames of artistic Hades along with their "masterpiece".
Gurdeep Mattu
It's been a while since we heard from Beth, the one with the funny name. Here she is with 'That Day', a surprisingly palatable pop release. It's got some quite interesting guitars and a melody that you might soon be humming without realising. Sadly, she took the challenging route with the vocals. Not to diss the young lady, that is - she can sing. But she's gone a little too far towards Alanis' second album with the 'fit-as-many-syllables-into-one-line-as-you-can-while-absolutely-ignoring-the-beat' style. The lyrics are OK, a bit pretentious female singer-songwriter sort of stuff, but she can hold a note and warble, so it actually works quite well. It'll be a hit, and she's a much better singer than an actress.
Anthony Newman
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18th Oct 2001