Bizarre and uncomfortable, but this week's great fun
There can be few feelings stranger than the one conjured up by being stood - smile lodged painfully in place, drink sat, a welcome distraction, in hand - in the corner of a room full of people with whom you know you are to become firm friends over the next few years, but about whom you presently know next to nothing: Freshers' Week is an odd time.
You feel you simply don't know where to start - which 'angle of attack' to deploy in order to make the most of this 'wonderful opportunity' you are constantly being congratulated for having.
Oxford is a bizarre, daunting and slightly insular university, but also a place in which just about any type of person can find - and thrive in - his or her niche.
A desire to settle in to some form of social circle is foremost in the minds of the vast majority of new students. With the stability of school friendships evolved over the course of years, no longer present, one craves the security and comfort they afforded - and wishes a return to such relaxed states of affairs as soon as possible.
As a result, many believe that it is vital to put across the best impression possible of themselves at every opportunity - in effect, to 'sell' themselves, socially, so as to find more friends more quickly. If you are naturally the more bubbly, outgoing type, this might well be the best (as well as the simplest), strategy to adopt. If, however, one is slightly more reclusive, trying to be excessively chatty - thereby addressing a perceived 'character flaw' (it is in fact nothing of the sort) - is not the best way forward, for two reasons. First, it is incredibly difficult to pull off being somebody you are not. Most can tell when loud comments are founded more in an overcompensation for nervousness. It is far easier - and better respected by others - to be yourself.
Second, those that put forward an image different to their true personality could readily be shunned by the very type of person with whom, if acting in a more genuine manner, they are likely to get along best. It may well be true that outgoing types find friends quickly, but surely better to find great friends over the course of many weeks (and months), than be lumped with a dull social circle from the off. So don't be afraid to be 'the quiet type'.
As for more practical advice, the first hurdle any fresher has to overcome - and most are in the process of overcoming at present - is that of Freshers' Week.
This seven-day long 'getting to know you' process is often, misleadingly, pitched as the highlight of the term - if not one's entire time at university. For the unlucky few, perhaps this is so, but the majority of freshers get very bored very quickly with the monotonous 'pub/club' routine so lazily adopted by numerous colleges.
Above all, do not feel obliged to go to every social on the timetable. If you do not enjoy clubbing, and would rather get an early night than go to The Bridge, get an early night; you will miss out on nothing but bar awkwardness by doing so.
However, there is nothing to lose by attending the various extra-curricular activity sample sessions colleges put on, be they musical, sporting, charitable or otherwise - provided you feel that there is at least a chance you might enjoy yourself in the given pursuit. Try new things.
The top rower in each college First VIII is unlikely to have dabbled in the sport prior to university, whilst even the most reclusive of sixth formers can overcome nerves to excel on the debating platform.
Take full advantage of Freshers' Fair. Sign up for any university society or activity from which you feel you might gain enjoyment.
Getting involved in an activity that introduces you to people from other colleges provides an invaluable escape from the claustrophobic atmosphere of many colleges - you then have access to two, often mutually exclusive, social groups: a privilege so many in Oxford opt to shun.
Above all, the first few weeks are about testing the water. Enjoy Freshers' Week for what it is: an opportunity to find out more both about Oxford as a place and about the people with whom you are to live - not the determinant of your social life for the next three years.
6th Oct 2004