The feminist's tale
The shrill Radio One DJ Sara Cox wrote in The Guardian recently that she was dismayed at the lack of whistles and catcalls she was receiving in the street after having her first child. Apparently a mother pushing a pram just doesn’t do it for the man in the street these days. Poor Sara, you’ve got to feel sorry for a woman whose confidence crumbles without the validation of total strangers, and sweaty, hairy ones at that.
But what is so frustrating about comments like this from Cox and many other women who voice similar opinions, is that they conjure up the image of the cheeky wink and hello from your neighbourhood builder on a warm summers day. Who could object to that, after all? Only those repressed feminist harpies no doubt.
Unfortunately such ‘flattery’ is more likely to come on a cold winter’s night, from a lairy, toothless guy, asking my sixteen year old sister if she’d like to suck his cock, or a gang of teenagers taking it in turns to grab your bum when you get off a night bus. God forbid any young woman who wants to be able to go out at night (maybe even wearing a skirt), and get home without being harassed. Reclaim the night indeed.
When women say they like unsought for approaches by strangers in the street, they should get outside their own fragile egos and think about the message they are sending to the men out there who may not be able to see the line between flattery and intimidation. It is irresponsible to encourage this behaviour, however much you may enjoy some of its fluffier incarnations.
Enough of the doom and gloom though, the advice that I’d give is always to have a scathing comeback for those situations where your suitor oversteps the mark. If he’s an older specimen out with friends, congratulate them on their charity in taking grandad out of his home for some fresh air. Insulting the size of his manhood, meanwhile, can be done in an infinite number of ways, and is certain to crush an ego.
If all else fails, start dialling the police, and see how quickly his bravado dissolves before your eyes.
10th Nov 2005