Tailor Trasg
As we wave a grateful goodbye to bohemianism, I feel that we must carefully consider what the fashion forward among us are about to collectively dive into. A prim elegance beckons, and it is difficult to deny the appeal of quality. Who can say no to leather handbags that a stylish grand-mere might carry, or classic furs that only a debutante could pull off? This classic style of dressing has especial attraction in stiflingly proper Oxford.
After all, this is a city where people seem to dress up to go to the library; study break in the Radcliffe Camera, anyone? To the point, however. This classy, understated style bedecked with bows is the clear alternative to sloppy bohemianism; however, I propose we simply scrap elegance. Children, let’s go trashy. Eyeliner applied with a palette brush. Obscenely large earrings. Even larger Italian sunglasses. Tights composed of ladders. Short skirts. Killer boots.
Isn’t this far more interesting than dainty pin tucks and suitable skirts, anyhow? At our collective University age, I would argue that it is far better to be remembered as the crack ho in fantastic heels than the well dressed PPEist whose coat spoke of quality. Look to Debbie Harry rather than Miss Hepburn-at least for now. The beauty of this look is that it is, surprise surprise, remarkably cheap and easy to pull off.
Bohemianism was relatively expensive, and it looked horrific; quality is expensive, and it simply looks dull. When you aspire to dress like your parents’ worst nightmare, you really only need your allowance of ten years ago. One must head to your little sister’s drawers for clothes, Claire’s Accessories for gigantic hoops, and your bin for all of your ripped tights. And the makeup? Ideally, it should consist of ridiculously smoky eyes, and blush inducing red lips.
It could be Chanel, darling; it could also be Boots. It doesn’t really matter as long as you apply it with a trowel. I’m not proposing that we walk around in ripped shreds of denim held together by safety pins; instead, I am merely suggesting that we push the envelope slightly. It truly is splendid to look edgy; and as long as your version of trashy chic includes sharp tailoring, no modern day Bergman will be able to touch your cool.
The dreadful spate of bohemian clothes had a sloppy silhouette, and the new elegance is simply too old for girls our age. The beauty of truly trashy dressing is that it combines a mean sense of tailoring with the most atrociously obscene accessories. It also confuses the hell out of everyone. I say, wear the pink fishnets. Pull out the obnoxious bows. Please, please wear the hoops. Trendy dressing is what people around you are wearing.
Fashion is what no one else would ever dream of pulling out of their closet. Indeed, trash must be whack, if only because everyone else looks so damn classy.
10th Nov 2005