Street Date
Well, dear readers, it seems that winter has fi nally come to us. Yes, the usual signs are theretesticle tightening cold, and Christmas gifts in the shops. Another sure sign on the afternoon Street Date was embarked upon, however, was the undeniable indications of the lesser spotted Oxford student having gone into hibernation.
Where did you all go? Tracking down Mark was simple enough given his past keenness, but fi nding him a date proved tricky as the darkness descended, and we found ourselves walking in circles. Even his touching belief that Pete Doherty is in fact a snooker player could not lighten the increasingly serious tone of proceedings as the hours passed, our reservation loomed and the pressure gradually increased.
Due to said pressure, it was decided to combine the serious matter of pimping with a restorative trip to the pub. After very necessary drinks (Mark- Carling, Me- Jamesons), and despite the KA being something of a sausage party, we soon isolated some targets. One pretty young fi lly exempted herself in Mark’s eyes due to her builder’s bum, and the fact we caught her picking her nose.
Dusting ourselves off from this disappointment, we adjourned to the Turf determined to fi nally achieve our goals. One option I pointed out along the way was dismissed as “too short,” but on our arrival we soon enough discovered an altogether more altitudinous option standing at the bar. Blessed as she was with fl owing brown locks, deep eyes and skin to die for, it is little wonder Mark was immediately besotted.
Indeed, our optimism swelled when she expressed an unambiguous interest in appearing in Street Date. The only problem was her need to reschedule the date to the night after our deadline. I pissed on this plan instantly, and we were further disappointed when her boyfriend joined us at the bar. We fl ed. Time was however, getting very short by this point. Concerned as we approached zero hour without a single positive reply, we moved onto casing a few JCRs.
This soon proved meaningless: at the last possible minute, just when Mark and I were chain smoking nervous wrecks, Kate appeared as if from the heavens. Shielding my eyes from her angelic glow, I popped the question. She agreed. I immediately collapsed in joy, the weight of a rugby team falling from my shoulders. The time and place were set. Surely all the stress had not been for nothing?
Mark
Not one to sell his soul to evil bloodsucking London law fi rms, Mark is a noble sort; he has rejected the long hours, untold millions and coke habit of a City career in favour of the fi ne, worthwhile job of teaching maths and citizenship. That, however, is in the future until he mutates into Mr Dawson, spitball target extraordinaire, Mark is spending his time swimming, running and playing the clarinet. However, his main pastime, as he happily admits, is drinking.
Mark describes himself as having “funny hair,” and seeks “good conversation and shared interests” in his dates: would his coiffure dominate conversation on the date?
Kate
Worryingly, Kate lists rifle shooting as one of her main pastimes; when not packing a piece, she likes photography, drama, dance, darts and debating, as well presumably as alliteration. Describing herself as “busy, talkative” and “weird, but in a good way,” she seeks the alternative fellow with “something they are passionate about,” although the manly ability to fix things is also crucial in Kate’s ideal date.
Her turn-offs include “patronising people”, “being too conservative”, and hairy backs. Not having seen Mark’s back, it remained to be seen if he was a victim of the dreaded fuzz, so optimism was the only option.
Mark on Kate
"There was definitely a spark, I think we got on really well. The conversation was great, no awkwardness that I remember. “The thing that really stuck in my mind was the relief that though the date was found at the last minute she would defi nitely be the fi rst choice out of all the other girls by far. “The food was really good, thanks Ox-Stu, good to know you’re useful for something.”
LOOKS: 10/10
DRESS SENSE: 10/10
PERSONALITY: 10/10
WILL YOU SEE KATE AGAIN? “I would love to meet up with Kate again, and am sure we will.”
Kate on Mark
"We are clearly Oxford students as we spent altogether too long talking about the relative merits of debating versus mooting. “When I arrived I realised that Mark was the best friend of a really good friendof mine and that I had been meant to have been meeting him for a long time. “Nothing really changed after that, we got on well and we (read ‘I’) talked a lot, and there was no awkwardness."
LOOKS: 10/10
DRESS SENSE: 9/10
PERSONALITY: 10/10
WILL YOU SEE MARK AGAIN? “I imagine so. We swapped numbers and know lots of people in common.”
17th Nov 2005