...how to get stinking rich
1. The conventional route
According to the official rich list, you could be worth millions if you are a computer geek, talented football player (preferably with good looks although Robbie Fowler still landed a lucrative deal with Nike) or get together with a bunch of mates, and stereotype yourself. It's worked before - The Spice Girls are worth over £100 million.
2. Who wants to be a millionaire
Pretend you're stupid to get selected. Once on the show win a million by answering questions like: Who isn't a Spice Girl? a) sporty spice b)posh spice c) baby spice d) ugly minging spice. And you get the chance to wipe that smirk off Tarrant's face.
3. Marry for money
Prince William, any of the Earls/Lords/Dukes listed inThe Observer's young rich list. But beware of taking it too far a la Anna Nicole Smith. How to find your target? Become an air hostess/air steward on club-class flights and seduce all those lonely executives with your blowing (up a life jacket) techniques.
4. Illegal Activities
Although I would never recommend them, people have added many noughts to their bank accounts by tax dodging, pyramid selling, drug dealing, stealing old ladies' handbags....
Not all of us can be rich, after all the majority of us have to be poor in order for the few to be loaded. If getting rich sounds like too much hard work, resign yourself to a life of poverty and become bitter and twisted instead.
- Students: : We are in a prime position by being in Oxford. The trick is to act like you're on a grand a day. Spend until your credit cards are cancelled and your college's hardship fund has run out.
- Stay in bed: And not charge for it. Laziness is a sure way of ensuring that your bank balance stays in the red. It is talent that we can all develop and nurture, although the temptation to become a dirty fat slob must be avoided.
- Blow your money: : Go on a huge bender to Las Vegas, throw a massive party for everyone you've ever meet, burn money for fun, buy a Ferrari in every colour available...
- Feeling generous: Feeling a touch guilty as well? Give it all away to charity, friends, family or if you are really sad and have no friends give it to your old college.