Books: Sixty second classics

By Unknown Author

What is it?

The Ladies' Oracle, by one Cornelius Agrippa.

Say what?

Well, he claims to be "an infallible prophet of the male sex", who's worked out a system of fortune-telling by the highly scientific method of pointing at random symbols on a page and seeing what they correspond to in his Big List of Answers. Victorian ladies were apparently mad about him, and he's now been reprinted for the delectation of a new generation, currently retailing at good bookshops, Past Times and similar establishments nationwide.

Try it and...

I concentrate hard. I ask the Oracle whether my reputation will be always good. The mystical sign of the triangle tells me, "It has never been good". Oh groovy.

Anything else?

Yes; there's also a section on Charms and Ceremonies - elaborate rituals involving plaited locks of hair, wedding cake, pails of water and sage cheese, designed to help you win your man.

So it's a chicks-only affair then?

Not at all. As the introduction explains, men can use it too, just changing the gender of the answers if they'd prefer it that way ("She loves you but does not trust you", etc etc)

Is it worth it?

Umm. Well, it's quite fun I suppose. Just don't start taking any of it to heart: Agrippa, being a sage, is clearly not also a gentleman, and can get fairly insultingly personal if you ask him why you're single, or what your beloved really thinks of you.