Coup de Farce
Revolutionary forces hit Oxford this week as Students First staged an occupation of the OUSU offices in Little Clarendon Street. The occupation which never numbered more than ten people was staged by the rouge anti-OUSU organisation Students First on Monday afternoon. A Press release sent to the Oxford Student listed various demands, including moves to adopt the 'one member, one vote' (OMOV) proposals for OUSU Council.
David Brewis (Oriel) described OUSU as an "undemocratic federal institution masquerading as a student union," while John Storey claimed that the protest was a "silent vigil and hunger strike." However by mid-afternoon the group were drinking copious quantities of wine and whiskey in the General Office. There was a bizarre Communist counter-demonstration protesting against the Occupation of the Offices. The left-wingers departed after half an hour seemingly realising the pathetic nature of the loon protest. Leader of the counter-protest Ed Griffith, St. Johns' JCR Vice-President, explained that "[the protesters] haven't achieved anything. We thought we could persuade them that this is not the way to go forward."
Also known to be at the occupation were John Courouble, OUSU Council delinquent, Robert Dougans, member of the defeated Oriel University Challenge Team, and Vicki Tomlinson, official photographer to the Brasenose JCR. The occupation collapsed just before four o'clock and Oxford once more came under the dark forces of OUSU rule.
OUSU leader Josh Bell was said by aides to be resting and unable to comment. However when woken from his slumbers Josh was relaxed about the threat to his regime: "I never noticed it happen, I don't think we will be activating OUSU's ground-to-air missile system just yet."
"I was just using the OUSU Stationary Shop and lots of scruffy people got in my way. I hope this doesn't damage OUSU's profits," said Sheridan Westlake (St Cross). The occupation appears to be a copy-cat affair amidst a series of farce protests, "It's obviously silly season," said Sheridan. In a new twist it is rumoured that OUSU President Josh Bell is planning to occupy the high bastion of loonery, the Union, to celebrate his twenty-first birthday. However compared to the paltry force in evidence at OUSU, nearly three hundred are expected.
It is believed that Mr Courouble's protest will have done little to bring the OMOV issue back into the mainstream. So far motions in calling for a referendum have failed at Worcester, Mansfield, Balliol and Teddy Hall. A motion calling for a referendum on the OMOV issue has been presented by John Courouble and is due to be discussed at this weeks OUSU council.