Discourse
No theme this week, O my droogs, unless I think of one halfway through writing this. Themes are naff anyway, though not as naff as cappuccinos or the word 'naff'. Which makes me think - does anyone remember NafNaf? The OshKosh for teenagers? That dates me, I suppose (not to mention having no place in a food column), but maybe there ought to be a naff backlash, like the appearance of Motörhead T-shirts in Top Shop, a double negative of naffness if ever there was one.....and so maybe I ought to spearhead the return of naff foods. Because food has fashions, my dear little brothers in Christ, as much as anything else, and it's beginning to get on my nerves. White vine tomatoes are the new sundried. Butter beans are the new polenta. Flat-leaf parsley has had its day, coriander is on the up, cappuccinos (okay, they're still naff) give you a fetching moustache and have doubtless been the subject of hilarious gags in endless unforgettable American sitcoms. Ho hum....
Columns: Food for Thought
It was a rainy, miserable Sunday night. The perfect night to try and inject a little sunlight into life by eating at the "Hi-lo" Jamaican eating house down the Cowley Road. Unfortunately the closest we got to the sun was when we walked past the UV light near the doorway. A rasta who looked like a cross between Bob Marley and Lemmy from the heavy metal band "Motorhead", guided us over the wax-stained carpet to our table. We ordered some Red Stripe and rum 'n' cokes which appeared reasonably quickly....
Columns: Postcards from the edge (of Europe)
I have now been three weeks in Belgium, yes three, that's a whole life time for caterpillars, and I'm starting to tire of the food. I mean, there are only so many waffles you can eat. On the plus side, I am now fluent in Belgian, just so long as the other person speaks very slowly and only about the home, the beach, the restaurant (or 'restaurant' as they call it) and my family. In my first conversation with my new tutor I made the most of my capacities and managed to cover all four topics. It turned out he was only asking me what topic I would like to study first, but was grateful for my explanation of what I did at home when it was sunny, as opposed to what I did when it was raining. He was slightly taken it back when I asked him for a cheese roll, but I smoothed over his questions by explaining that when on holiday, I often adore cheese rolls....
Columns: Unwise Words
My God it's all so futile. You can sit on your expensively clad arse all day and think sublime thoughts, but at the end of the day, it mostly comes down to this truth: none of us ever do anything worthwhile.
Columns: Getting Thrown Out Of..
Jack NoryPlaying I-spy around Oxford can be extremely revealing. If, for example, I were to say 'I spy with my little eye, something beginning with P', your answer would depend very much on who you were. The more tourist or Brideshead-minded amongst you might reply 'Punting' or 'Pimms'. Those of you with dubious taste in music might well say 'Park End', with its obligatory companion, 'Puking'. But the vast majority would probably just reply 'Piss off you boring bastard.' And they'd have a point. However, there is one 'P' that pervades Oxford life like no other. It is all around us, and it is intensely annoying. I am talking, of course, about 'Plugging'....
Columns: Political sketch
In the latest of a series of embarrassing gaffes, Ken Livingstone was once again attacked from all sides for his comments about Hitler. He is reported to have said that Hitler's rise to power was "very similar to my own." Campaigners immediately denounced his comments as "disgraceful... trivialising the monstrous crimes and absolute evil of Hitler" in the words of Simon Adelman, spokesman for the Board of Deputies of British Jews, who argued that Ken Livingstone "bears no comparison with Nazism. He is merely a cynical and manipulative egotist"....