Your Letters
UNCLE GIVES NEPHEW BSE Worcester, 14th January 2000 Sir,
Is it possible that the outcome (won &/or lost) of the next general election could be manipulated around an issue as lowly as parliamentary concern over 'dog fouling'?
How times change! With even elite squads chasing the odd leg of beef (literally!) back in the 70's (West Mercia Constabulary) - with my Uncle having witnessed "we're looking for beef - pork, wrong man"!
...[Letter continues in a similar vein over fourteen paragraphs]...
In passing, no matter to me - Old Labour, New Labour, Old Conservative, Old Moore's, etc., ad delirium. But clearly, some alternative - if not 'saner', viewpoint is way overdue....
Yours faithfully,
As your letter reached its conclusion, I began to feel for the first time that you may actually have a point. But if it took you almost a year and a half to post this letter , I'm not convinced you're the the right person to try and bring about any kind of change. Oh yes-and the question of sanity. Do you really think we've nothing better to do than sift through lengthy nonsensical diatribes from random people throughout the country?
RANDOM Dear Oxford Student,
I would like to randomly draw to your attention to the amount of random times the word 'random' is used in everyday conversation and random articles...
Siobhan Tipping St Anne's Next... GIZ A JOB (1) Dear Sir/Madam,
I am a recent graduate currently contemplating a career in journalism. I feel it necessary to gain some basic work experience, enabling me to develop some basic skills, and to gain an informative insight into this field of work
Yours, GIZ A JOB (2) Dear Sir / Madam,
I am a first year university student studying English and Psychology. I would like to gain beneficial experience, through employment at a well-known newspaper.
Yours sincerely, GIZ A JOB (3) Dear Sir,
I am writing to enquire about any possible work Experience placements available at your newspaper between May and June 2002. I am a student at Heidelberg University. It would be a great opportunity to improve my English and I feel experience with a foreign paper would extend my experience and broaden my horizons.
Yours faithfully,
Who would have thought it would be so satisfying to have such kind, educated citizens wanting to become part of our team. And, moreover, who would have thought it would be so satisfying to have to reject them. Does the Oxford Student really seem like the sort of place to develop skills, gain informative insight and beneficial experience, and broaden your horizons? As for improving your English...
Anyway, we're off to the Phoenix now to use up the tickets that we'd have given away had anybody actually written us a single letter worth reading. With any luck, next week's postbag will be slightly more inspired.
26th Apr 2001