Knackered Chef
Definitely, a great part of the joy in making yourself and others a particularly fine meal is going and getting the ingredients. Not least because you can make quite a day out of it. You can get up fairly late and take a leisurely stroll in to town. You know its going to be a good day because its going to end with a Thai curry. Bonus. Have a look around and then enter a supermarket, probably Sainsbury's (who haven't given me a contract). I always find its good to have a walkman on so that you can cruise around the aisles in a thrash-dub-trance groove. With your basket by your side you have everything to play for. Rock over to the herb section first, its bound to be fairly lame but if you find some fresh coriander then pick it up and put it in. Hmmm, how about some chilli? Ask the moody shelf-stacker where they are and follow the grunted directions. The chillis look good. Grab a few red and a few green and if they've got any other colours, you should probably get them too. Next, you realise that Sainsbury's is really a bit crap; the lights are too bright, kids are making noise and your legs feel achey. Its time to move on. Get some chicken breasts, some cream and then grab yourself a bottle of booze before facing the final hurdle of the check out.
Ah, into the open air again. Right, now rock on to a grocers and discover much nicer chillis. Pick up some onions and a few limes, if you can juggle, now is the perfect time to practice. Other veg is good too, I like mushrooms. Then complete the transaction with the moody grocer and head towards the last shop. This, is the oriental place. There really is no point trying to look for what you want unless you happen to understand Chinese so I suggest going straight up to the counter and asking for some galangal; you may need to run through a few alternative pronunciations until you are understood. Galangal is a weird root that is a bit like ginger but more citric and a little more fiery. Its amazing. Get some lemongrass as well. Excellent. The shopping's done so you might as well have a few flaming sambuccas and a couple of pints in the pub on your way home. Shopping can really take it out of you.
You're home, and you're a bit wasted - it's time to start cooking. Spill some oil into a pan and fry up the onion. While this is being done, finely chop up the ginger, chilli, vegetables, galangal, and lemongrass. Use a big knife like Conan the Vegetarian and play some rock fromage. When the onion clarifies then tip in the chopped stuff. Now set to work on the chicken slicing it into chewable chunks. When that's done and your kitchen is smelling like God's perfume, add the chicken. Sizzle it up and shake it about. Squeeze in some lime and rocknroll. Lower the heat and pour in some cream, now you can sit down and relax for 20 minutes or so. You may wish to start work on chopping the coriander or prepare some other Thai herb that will help the meal go down a treat. Oh yeah, and you might want to get someone to do the rice as well.
When the meat is tender then add seasoning and stir in the coriander. By now all your house will have arrived in the kitchen, charmed like the children of Hamelin. Negotiate a cushy no-washing up deal, and tuck into the nicest meal of your life. At least until next week anyway.
3rd May 2001