The Oxford Student - Official Student Newspaper

Finals of a Diarist...

As a finalist you inevitably end up doing an awful lot of thinking. It's quite alarming. Before, you could just about blot out your cognitive processes by drinking, refusing to be alone, and by watching Neighbours. You could even watch the repeat to increase this effect, although there was always the danger that you might start to analyse the plot. Now however, you spend your daylight hours in silent contemplation of the law of trusts. What does this mean, you wonder. The libraries become your home, the librarians your friends, the security officers on the door like uncles that you visit all the time. (They are all called Stan, even the women.) .It's cheaper than being in the pub, you rationalise quietly, although you secretly suspect there is a reason for this. At the bell for last orders you are still there, like a regular who's had too much and really needs to be kicked out or put down. You heard they were going to start shutting the libraries at seven, and that worried you. After all, stopping people visiting libraries after seven could never solve the problem. It would be like prohibition in America in the twenties, it would just go underground. Next thing you know, the Mafia are running your faculty, and you don't just get fined for overdue books. Those guys play for keeps. 'What do you mean you haven't got it? I'm a reasonable guy but you've had The Invention of Tradition for three weeks now. It's a liberty. Hit him Mac.' ...