Diary of a finalist
I remember, long ago in the dim and distant past of my sun-drenched second year, overhearing a conversation amongst finalists that seemed part of a different world. One third year turned to another and said,
Columns: Newsfight!
A transcript of a recent encounter at an NHS hospital. Dr Milburn: Mr Smith, I have some very bad news . You have a brain tumour sir.
Columns: Top Spot: London
Yes, we know half of you live there, and it's a bit too early in term to think of escaping home, but for those of us who live out in the wilds, term-time offers many of us our first opportunity to explore the capital on our own. We've all done the school trip when you look at Nelson's Column and queue for 21 hours outside the Planetarium, but we'd never imagine going to London to get away from it all. ...
Columns: Horoscopes
(Mystic Maurice has been fired for inaccuracy, so a series of guest astrologers will guide your destiny this term
Columns: Arses and Faces
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Columns: The Krapton Factor
Sit down, shut up.
Columns: Top Ten!!!
The most important thing to realise here is that anything that comes perched atop a stick is therefore a lolly. Strictly speaking the actual ice cream content of said item should be less than fifty percent but as this is an informal occasion we'll waive that rule. Magnums are not allowed however because of far too short a stick, resulting in chocolate on the fingers - a pain in the arse if you're wearing a white linen suit, I can tell you. Calippos are allowed, for although they are stickless, they are one hundred percent ice. Thus with these shark nets of lollydom in place, we can surf the wave of refreshment without fear of a curious nibble from below....