This week in...
Following the simply scandalous revelations in last week's OxStu that President Will Straw had been caught stealing three bottles of The Oxford Union's finest claret, it appears the society's hacks have decided to punish him in the harshest way possible.
Not only has Straw been given a £50 fine, but he has also been banned from Frewin Court for the next week, meaning he will not be able to attend any of this week's events!
Straw is understood to be fuming over the decision, but both he and Union officials refused to comment on the matter.
This is not the first time that Straw has been on the wrong side of the law. Back in 1998 he was cautioned for selling cannabis to an undercover reporter working for The Daily Mirror newspaper.
In a desperate attempt to fund her studies, a student from Chile is to auction off her virginity in order to supplement her measly student loan.
The 21-year-old, from Santiago, told La Cuerta online: "I will provide a certificate signed by a doctor to prove I am a virgin. No man has ever touched me." However her sacrifice has so far met with little success- the opening bid in the auction, which is being conducted by Chilean radio station W Radio CRC, was only £350.
Defending his decision to allow the auction , station director Mariano Perez said: "I am personally against this kind of thing but people are free to do what they want with their lives."
A report by scientists at the University of Zagreb has suggested that the rash of collapsing lamp-posts in the city should be blamed on the excessive urination of passing dogs. Apparently, the ammonia in the urine left by male dogs is corroding lamp-posts to the point where they collapse within a couple of years. Owners have been urged to make their dogs urinate somewhere else.
22nd May 2003