Predictions
This week, the somewhat overly excited camper than Christmas waste of fake tan that is Dale Winton has begun to trouble Paul.
It seems that Dale is not the shirt lifting uphill gardening shit plougher that we all thought he once was - alas, no, the orange obscenity has tied the knot with the buxom blonde that is Nell McAndrew. Long gone is his passion for the rear end in favour of a bit of muff diving instead. Sat in a murky corner of Frevds Paul perched on a punnet, perusing this perplexing predicament, but only to be confronted with disbelief and shock. Then it came to him. Nell McAndrew contains the words 'Mr Dale W' in her very name. Psychic Paul soon after discovered that Nell is President of NAACP UK - the National Association for the Advancement of Coloured People in the UK - it's main beneficiaries being Mr Winton and Bob Monkhouse - the two foremost members of the Orange community in Britain. This is clearly a shameless publicity stunt for the personal gain of a rich minority of orange people within Britain. Nell stop it - put an end to it.
Another thing: French exchange school children/ young French tourists who plague our cities like the yellow pigeons that they are. Kill them, maim them, get rid of them, by any means necessary.
22nd May 2003