CHER-WELL BEATEN
History has been littered with battles of Herculean proportions: David v. Goliath and Stalingrad to name but a couple; now another can be added to the list: the 2003 five-a-side match between the finest student newspaper in Oxford and Cherwell. Graced by the worst of weather, the game passed off without serious injury, Oxford Student News Editor James Coatsworth sustaining a minor graze to his left knee from OUSU President Will Straw.
Cherwell fared well against the might and superior skill that characterized the play of the OxStu who dominated the first half through their swift movement and tactical supremacy.
This was only spoilt by the concession of two own goals by the OxStu's Deputy Editor and goalkeeper Paul Brassey and Former Editor Rodrigo Davies who, despite his embarrassing performance, did manage to sport a finely tailored shirt and good hair throughout the match.
Yet the mighty Oxford Student hit back against their adversaries who, notwithstanding their conceded advantage, were only able to flock to the ball like lost sheep in the rain. Substitute and man of the match Joey Oliver smashed the midfield of his opponents, cutting through their men as the defence melted like butter to pound home a goal for the Student.
Manager Michael Girling was a Gibraltor throughout, like a rock he commanded his team through a system of rolling substitutions allowing the OxStu to splinter what was left of a hopeless and dejected newspaper.
The OxStu surpassed themselves again and again in the second half as Cherwell crumbled in the face of Barry McEwan - the baby faced assassin of the OxStu's men - who battered home two successive goals to give the upper hand to the better of the two papers.
Not tempted by complacency despite their advantage, the OxStu charged on like a train without brakes, shattering what was left of Cherwell's Midfield: Rob Vance pummelled the ball into the back of the net to secure a fourth goal for the Stu.
Applause must however be extended to Ryan Ainsbury, who managed to slide past his opponents like a wet slug, chipping in a goal past steadfast keeper Paul Brassey to finish the match at 4-3.
Marcus Leroux's performance was, in a word, impressive, in a few: absolutely spectacular; his total command of the ball could barely be challenged by a crestfallen Cherwell who followed him around the field like children to a speeding ice cream van, never coming close yet always trying.
The battle of the papers shall, nevertheless, rage onwards but at least one thing is undisputed: even in torrential rain, the Oxford Student was the better paper on the day.
12th Jun 2003