The Week In Two Minutes
Arsenal won the premiership. Ron Atkinson resigned from ITV after describing Marcel Desailly as a "fucking lazy thick nigger" off-air after Tuesday's Champion League match.
Richard Desmond, the owner of the Express Newspaper Group, meeting executives of the Telegraph to discuss a possible take-over, mimicked a salute and insisted the Germans were "all Nazis."
Tony Blair may "hang up his boots" after the next general election, Neil Kinnock hinted, as Blair apologized to his Cabinet for the confusion surrounding his leaked decision to hold a referendum. Economists accused Gordon Brown of manipulating policies so as to "conjure up a classic pre-election boom," perhaps explaining the insatiable consumerism of seven London diners who ran up a restaurant bill of £42,000.
Leeds Metropolitan and Huddersfield Universities admitted to operating a random selection policy when picking students for physiotherapy courses.
Official 'war artist' Steve McQueen, has however, been prevented from fulfilling his commission by the security situation in Iraq. Bomb blasts in Basra killed 70 people, including children travelling on a school bus.
Colonel Gadaffi travelled to Belgium, on his first official trip to continental Europe in 15 years. On the 134th anniversary of Lenin's birth, a survey found that 56 per cent of Russians want his body to be buried, rather than remain embalmed in Red Square.
North Korea asked for international aid, following an explosion when two fuel trains collided at a station north of Ryonchong, flattening an estimated 1,800 homes; official figures say 161 people were killed, and 1,300 people injured.
In a case of mistaken identity -soon to be a thing of the past in the UK after Blunkett unveiled plans for a new ID scheme - a prank call to Fidel Castro is likely to cost a Miami radio-station $4,000.
29th Apr 2004