'A Bay of Little Significance'
There are more termites in Australia, living in the huge free standing termite mounds which litter the country - a testament to the architectural potential of chewed wood, sand and dust - than there are people. There is vastly more sand than termites and, in the stunning wetland national park of Kakadu, for every crocodile you see (and there are many of them) there are ten more looking back at you.
Sand may not sound like the most exciting thing in the world, but from this single, oh-so-abundant, resource Australia has created wonders. In the centre of the country, red hot in summer and still around 20°C in the depths of winter, rises the vast sand monolith named Ayres Rock by European explorers, and Uluru by the Aborigines. Uluru, and its less iconic but more spectacular neighbour, Kata Tjuta, have great cultural significance to the Anangu, the traditional Aboriginal custodians of the land who lease it to the Australian Government as a National Park. The Park's status as a World Heritage Area comes as no surprise, for the rocks rise abruptly from the endless empty expanse of desert that surround them and vanish again into the burnt-orange sand.
At sunrise and sunset the sand mountain glows in the heat of the surrounding desert, softened by the deeper reds and purples of dusk shadows and the setting sun. This rock is so huge that, even at a distance of two or three miles, its entire length still doesn't fit into an ordinary camera viewfinder. For the adventurous, it is possible to climb to the top of Uluru, although the Aborigines discourage it for safety as well as cultural reasons, and the trail is often closed due to extreme weather conditions.
Far to the south-west of Uluru lies Sydney, home of the Sydney opera house, the harbour bridge, the pale golden sands of Bondi Beach, and the spectacular harbour itself which Captain Cook famously described as "a bay of little significance" - an irony which is not lost on the Sydney Tour guides.
To the north of Sydney, along the coast, is Cairns: the 'Gateway to the Coral Reef'. Trips out to the reef are easy to arrange and hard to avoid, varying from half day trips to week long cruises down to Townsville and beyond.
If you can swim, snorkel or scuba dive, viewing the underwater colours and vibrancy of the living coral, and tropical fish that live in and around it, is an un-missable and breathtaking experience.
Even if you swim like a lead balloon and the best you can manage is a half-hearted doggy-paddle that wouldn't get you far if a crocodile was after you, you can be padded out with enough buoyancy aids to keep a baby elephant afloat and left to do just that, float, peering down through a borrowed snorkel and the green sea at coral often mere inches beneath the surface. And this is the one place in Australia you won't find sand.
Unfortunately, flights to Australia do not come cheap, and the best way to save money is to book in advance and be prepared for a super-economy seat.
If you left Heathrow on a Friday evening you would reach Sydney early on Sunday morning - via a strange, abbreviated Saturday spent in the air.
It's worth it though, if only so that you can stare up at the unfamiliar stars in the clear night sky, realise that the North Pole is somewhere beneath your feet, and wonder how you can stand on the bottom of the world and not fall off.
6th May 2004