Minions On A Mission
Over the years, countless people have done many profound and moving things in the name of charity. Others simply make tits of themselves. We minions fit the latter category in its entirety. The RAG Pop Idol event had been singled out as a befitting spectacle for minionisation ever since we achieved double M status. Thus, The Editor Herself posed the operation of reaching the final as one that could not be failed....
Columns: Sexcellent
As a nation we have a funny attitude towards unusual sexual practices. Most people would say they want an exciting sex life, and there's no kind of shame in claiming to be a bit kinky. Yet while lots of us are entirely comfortable discussing all kinds of intimate goings-on with our closest friends, very few people will confess to a predilection for anything genuinely deviant....
Columns: Text And The City
This week, I have mostly moved into the library. I honestly did intend to take the whole thing from a position of languid irony, to concentrate more on fighting my corner at the Purple Turtle bar than guarding my spot in the college library, to approach finals with a pen in one hand and a gin in the other. Sadly this has not worked, largely because it would mean turning the pages with my teeth; a practice frowned upon in library circles.
Once
Columns: The Week In Two Minutes
Big Ben broke at 12.45am on Friday, and will take a week to be fixed. Parents were accused of being "to blame for truancy" (Headteachers' Union) and "turning children into drunks" (Institute of Alcohol Studies).
Columns: Mendelsohn's Misanthropy
I hate science students. They shamble around, work all hours of the day and contrive to pretend that doctrines such as Classics or English Literature are not important and relevant degrees. I'm not entirely sure why the University continues to admit them.
