Cherwell hammer hungover OxStu
Saturday of sixth week saw the annual football match between The Oxford Student and Cherwell played out in front of literally tens of spectators at the Iffley astroturf.
The Cherwell side arrived looking professional, decked out in tight-fitting red and black numbers. Their superior preparation was reflected in the early stages as Sports Editor Mike Herring scored two goals in quick succession past OxStu goalkeeper Patrick Foster, left wide open by his defence, which consisted of the conspicuously absent Rob Vance.
The OxStu rallied briefly, remembering their 4-3 victory from the previous year, with good work from Tom Rayner and former Editor James Coatsworth ending with Sports Editor Roger Waite flicking the ball through the legs of opposing keeper Torsten Henricson-Bell.
The Cherwell hacks then delivered a knockout blow. OxStu midfield dynamo Tom Rayner was forced to leave the pitch due to a craving for nicotine and Herring exploited the gap to complete a first half hat-trick after uncharacteristically good work from Editor Aled George.
Half-time in the OxStu camp was a subdued affair as the previous night's festivites at the Editor's house began to take their toll on star defender Matt Trueman, who was forced to leave the pitch and take bad quality photos for the duration of the second half.
Unfortunately for The OxStu, this meant that they were forced to introduce incredibly talented photographer but appalling goalkeeper Matt Bryant into the fray. Within minutes, Cherwell had scored three more goals including an excellent finish from Night Lawyer Ryan Amesbury.
This was the signal for Cherwell to ease off and they brought Editor Elaina Evans onto the pitch for a cameo role. However The OxStu improved as the second half continued and while ex-Music Editor Rob Evans, Foster and Rayner focused their energies into a concerted effort to inflict astro burns on the opposition, Waite fired home from 15 yards to narrow the deficit.
Cherwell responded immediately however as News Editor Jack Fanning, somehow managed to send in a cross that eluded the OxStu defenders, situated as they were at the other end of the pitch, for Chris Sloggett to shoot past Coatsworth, OxStu's third keeper of the day.
With The OxStu embarrassingly 7-2 behind with a minute to go, Waite picked up the ball, ran the length of the pitch and struck a 20 yard screamer past the Cherwell goalkeeper to complete his hat-trick and make the final score 7-3.
While everyone at The OxStu appreciated Cherwell's editorial last week, there was no love lost between the respective football teams as Foster contrived to injure several members of the opposition, as well as himself.
The scoreline did not necessarily reflect the balance of play but Cherwell deserved their ultimately comprehensive victory, which The OxStu will look to avenge next year.
Both sides were very grateful to referee Jason Pawluk, whose impeccable kit and booming voice ensured the match progressed fairly.
10th Jun 2004