Fine Harvest Sorts Wheater From Staff
Celebrating the bumper harvest of the miserable University masterplan to empty the pockets of students daring to celebrate the end of their exams in Merton Street is Univ Fellow and ex-Senior Proctor Dr John Wheater. A gown-filling figure of £1800.50 cropped up in his Senior Proctor’s Oration made over the vac – a rise from the £330 the Fun Tax raised last year. Even glitter has now been banned from Merton Street or Summertown celebrations (yawn and double yawn, John).
Wheater, a bit of a poster boy to the women of Oxford with his tousled dark hair and confident gait, told the assembled dons: “There is a big crowd in celebratory mood, and a few people to control it. Your authority to do so may be challenged and you must not lose your temper. “This has to be done twice a day, every day bar Sunday, for five weeks. It is stressful and tiring.” Our hearts bleed for you. Exams are such a walk in the park in comparison.
The joke was on John, though, in the case of one scallywag, who was fined £30 for misbehaviour by John’s glamorous sidekick, ex-Junior Proctor Revd Canon Dr Judith Maltby of Corpus Christi following his exams in Trinity last year. The PPEist in question saw fit to pay his ridiculous fine in beautiful style, dropping it off in 1ps and 2ps at the University offices.
But where will the bumper Fun Tax go, John? Those golden gals in the University press office tell me the cash will go into the Vice Chancellor’s Fund, which provides support for graduate students who are writing up their research. The charidee was co-nominated by ex-Proctorial duo John and Jude, the latter of whom was named in The Guardian recently as a possible future candidate for Archbishop of Canterbury, no less.
21st Apr 2005