Crusading To An Early Death
Orlando Bloom as humble blacksmith cum tactical mastermind Balian
Kingdom Of Hearts
It never was going to be easy making a film about the Crusades. Even before Ridley Scott’s latest epic, Kingdom of Heaven, went into post production, the metaphorical s**t was already hitting the fan. Depending on who you listened to, it either incited hatred against Muslims or glorified them - one academic even went so far as to say it represented “Osama bin Laden’s version of history”.
A controversial film then? On viewing the finished product, it would appear that Scott has taken note of all the criticism and tried to sit firmly on the fence, avoiding the age-old movie cliché of Christian good, Arab bad. Unfortunately, all the political correctness in the world could not stop the film from being something of a let down. It starts off in a similar way to Gladiator, Scott’s other historical epic.
Balian (Bloom), a lowly blacksmith, has lost his faith in humanity after the death of his child and his wife’s subsequent suicide. Along comes Balian’s long lost father, the valiant Crusader Godfrey of Ibelin, who wants his son to join him on the journey to Jerusalem. He accepts, believing that a Crusade will absolve his sins and save his wife from eternal hell.
Several scenes later and Godfrey is dead, Balian succeeds his father as Baron of Ibelin and arrives in Jerusalem via a shipwreck, which only he and one horse miraculously survive. In Jerusalem, the leprous king has forged an uneasy truce with Saladin, which is constantly on the verge of breaking down thanks to the efforts of the king’s devious brother-in-law. Guy de Lusignant.
Balian then meets the beautiful Princess Sybilla (Green), Guy’s wife and the king’s sister, who spends a large part of the film galloping around wearing the entire stock of Bukhara. Cue the obligatory love scene and Balian’s rapid transformation from humble blacksmith to tactical mastermind, civil engineer and occasional public health expert – yes, you really do have to suspend your belief that much.
The film does look good visually, and it must be said that Scott has perfected the battle scene. Rows of Christian soldiers appearing through a mirage looks very impressive, as does the final showdown with Saladin. The use of CGI graphics creates a convincing medieval war scene, and of course there are the obligatory slow motion shots of Orlando Bloom to satisfy an audience of prepubescent girls.
However, visuals cannot save Kingdom of Heaven from trite dialogue, (Godfrey’s line “I once fought for two days with an arrow through my testicles” springs to mind here) and some wooden performances. Bloom never seems at ease with his first leading role, and the supposeedley rousing speeches with which he addresses his troops end up sounding very halfhearted and limp.
So, what will the verdict on Kingdom of Heaven be? As Balian so eloquently put it: “The world decides, the world always decides.” Unfortunately for Scott and company, I don’t think the world will be very kind to this effort.
12th May 2005