Oxford People
Pipe Down
The recently-established Oxford Pipe Band, headed by Christ Church 3rd year classicist Barney Campbell, who is often seen sporting his trademark checked green trousers as above (second from right). Joining Barney, who hails from Scottish Borders, are Trinity's George Macpherson (front left), Oriel's Phil MacPherson (standing, left), Pierre Lafeedney (St Benet's) and drummer Jack Tarrell from Christ Church. The tartan titans are up for college balls, birthday parties and other events.
"We're the most exciting thing to hit music since Stradivarius," Barney tells me.
Labouring under McThatcher, policy book snatcher
Big changes are afoot in the Labour Club, I hear, as Michaelmas co-chair-elect and McChap about town Martin McCluskey has tabled a motion to bring the society forward, not back in time for his reign of terror in Michaelmas. But my man with the red flag says those on the right of the lefties are not amused, with some ‘Trots’ in the Labour Club labelling the St Hugh’s first year PPEist ‘Martin McThatcher’.
Disagreeing with his plans to ensure policy runs out after three years, the group is allegedly planning to form a coalition against McThatcher’s ideas to review the sacred policy of the ohso- influential society at what will undoubtedly be a funfilled discussion at Balliol on Sunday afternoon.
Leaping to McThatcher’s defence are delectable duo former Labour club chair Steve Longden, once said to represent a ‘sheen of Blairism’ and his never-to-beseen- without sidekick David Green, the Lincoln PPEist who famously put Brasenose up for sale on eBay last term. Far from being a new Thatcher, the Blairite pair insist Marty’s actually none other than ill-fated messiah Jesus Christ in disguise.
It may have been the ale talking (to be honest it’s sometimes hard to tell with Steve Longden), but at the White Horse this week the Merton PPEist insisted McCluskey, or perhaps McJesus, bears striking similarities to the Almighty. "He’s always surrounded with women who love him but he doesn’t actually sleep with, and he’s never sinned as far as I can make out," says Steve. "Put this in Oxford People. In fact he’s an Oxford deity.”With friends like Steve, who needs a left-wing coup?
Shhh...
Yet more scandal from Wadham reaches me from my man with the Free Nelson Mandela CD. Apparently, after leaving a house party on Iffley Road on Friday night, two former Wadham SU Presidents were among the five students stopped by the police for indecent exposure. Having decided to jump into the river for a quick 3am dip, the group mysteriously lost their clothes, realising later they had been thrown into the Biology faculty.
Whilst climbing to get them, the boys in blue pulled up but allowed the Wadhamites to grab their clothes and let them crawl back home with nothing more than a stern warning. Hold that thought.
A cup of cocoa is in order for the dedicated station manager of Oxide Radio, now broadcasting over the airwaves, Tom Wrathmell of St John’s, who took a two-hour cycle in the small hours round every single college to ensure the signal got to students following the FM launch on Sunday night. I’m sure all seven appreciated his efforts.
Well, clone me: Minding my own business at the Smollensky’s dinner to celebrate Oxide Radio’s move to FM on Monday night, little did I expect to meet fertility expert Dr Panos Zavos, who claims to have implanted a cloned embryo into a woman’s womb. Zavos, who was having some grub before his talk at the Oxford Union, bounded over to shake my hand. “Ah, the press officer, the Union press officer. Brilliant to meet you young man. A pleasure, a pleasure.
I’m going to clone you, I think” he said. As if one of me wasn’t bad enough, mate. [for God’s sake shut up • Ed].
Tydeal forces: Sitting opposite the proud grandparents of Union president and onetime Christ Church PPEist Richard Tydeman, I, ever the gentleman, offered Teresa Adamson, his maternal grandmother and complete legend, some water with her meal. “No thanks dear, I’m on the hard stuff,” she replied. She was later seen downing a bubblegum flavoured alcopop at President’s Drinks after last Thursday’s debate on climate change. What a trooper!
26th May 2005