Off the fat walk
Fashion can be terribly sadistic at times. Corsets, bound feet and Brazilian waxes show the lengths that we hapless fashion victims will go to in order to stay in vogue. This season’s trends are no exception. Skinny jeans tend to make most people’s legs look more ‘turnip’ than ‘drainpipe’. Vertical stripes create the charming illusion that the wearer is about one and a half times fatter than she actually is as well as distorting over even the most microscopic of wobbly bits.
And, to top it all off, the colour white’s virginal appeal not only screams, “Ah, drunk friend, pour red wine all over me” but can swamp a person, making them look washed out and distinctly meringue like. But before you grab your fi gure hugging pants and your celery sticks in a moment of desperation, there is light at the end of the tunnel and it doesn’t involve the cabbage soup diet. Instead, let’s revel in this season’s more fl attering trends.
Wasp waists
Wrapping a belt around your waist instantly transforms the most boyish of fi gures into sexy Jessica Rabbit curves. Team waist belts with long layered tops and dresses so you also avoid the horrors of the tummy flashing look that plagued our teenage summers. Perhaps our mothers were right with regards to the elegance of exposing a pasty, what-isa- washboard-anyway to the world, even if they tend to be wrong about everything else.
Tailored City Shorts
Cut above the knee, these structured shorts elongate the leg and are a much needed antidote to the nation’s love affair with frumpy, bulky peasant skirts. Plus, shorts are so much more convenient than skirts for frolicking in the spring sunshine whilst still maintaining the lady-like grace of keeping the colour of one’s knickers secret.
Wedge Heels
Fashion has never been about practicality, so it amazes me that shoes that are so cute and fl rtatious can be so ergonomically designed. Not only does a high pair of wedge heels slim the silhouette wonderfully, but they are ever so easy to walk in. Which means you can enjoy an entire evening of Pimms-fuelled debauchery without the disgrace of hobbling home on burning bare feet, clutching your heels and your dignity to your chest.
27th Apr 2006