Fifth-Week Madness
Fifth Week Blues is a curious ailment that must have affected most Oxford students at one time or another. The fifth week is always the low point of term, the nadir at which the hedonism (and collections) of 0th week are long forgotten, but from which there is still no immediate end in sight. It is a reflection of the bizarre and rapid rhythms to which our life is lived that we have been back barely a month, and in three more weeks it will all be over.
However, this term the blues appear to have had a particularly serious effect. News of breakins, break-downs, and girls waking up in strange locations has all filtered through to our eager ears. Hilariously, even the sperm situation has reached crisis point, with only one bold donor prepared to service not only Oxfordshire but two neighbouring counties as well. Perhaps however we can kill two birds with one stone.
Is it not time for the students of Oxford University to take a deep breath, smile, and channel our energies into more productive channels? Like the local ‘wank-bank.’ Roll on sixth week.
25th May 2006