Trend Sporting
Forget the pure adrenalin of the race itself, the adoring, cheering crowds and crates of cold beer and cava waiting at the boathouse. It can surely only be the lycra that drives rowers to accept early morning training sessions, drinking bans and an alienating language involving ominous phrases like “bumping”, “stroke” and “catching a crab”.
Their rowing lycra’s garish, shiny material satisfies the most macho of boaties’ suppressed desires to dress up in their mother/girlfriend’s clothing and provides the perfect excuse to eye up your best friends’ rippling, muscular back and bulging lunchbox.
If your early morning wardrobe choice rarely extends beyond the questions of “collar up or collar down?”, or “should I wear novelty boxers to emphasis my jocular disposition?”, who could blame the poor boys for wanting to go crazy with shimmering fabrics and primary colours? Ridiculous sportswear also helps satiate the very English love for communally making twats out of ourselves. Sportsmen get plenty of support from from scientists when engaging in their game of dressing up.
Clothing can be made so tight it appears to be sprayed on, provided the development can be deemed usefully aerodynamic.
It would be heretic to admit that half a centimetre of flapping clothing might not actually mark the crucial difference between blades and no blades, just as no self-respecting rower could admit it to himself or others that his lycra is in fact nothing less than a leotard Now I realise my attitude to wearing sportswear could be bordering on fascist, but no matter how much you support your local team, football shirts are ugly, and girls, no matter how delicate your ankles may look, they do not ne
the added support of practical trainers. And tracksuit bottoms are the most depressing of all trousers. There are however two sports that seemed to have resisted the temptation to go mul- ticoloured and/or skintight. Somehow, cricket and tennis have retained their quaint white uniforms, that conjure up the jovial spirit of old-fashioned British summers, Lords, Wimbledon, sunny afternoons and strawberries and champagne.
So throw a baggy cricket jumper over a pair of skinny jeans, or some little shorts, for a playful, summery look. Or invest in a pair of cute little tennis shorts, or a short white dress, for a flirty take on tennis gear that is bound to have the boys declaring their undying love for you.
Just remember to leave the lycra to the boaties.
1st Jun 2006