Satire and Student Features
Maths lecture girl. Please stop ignoring me because you must be the square root of 2: I feel irrational when i’m around you. xoxo
To the guy I bumped into outside the exam schools. You were cute. coffee after next week’s philosophy lecture? xxx
You were writing an essay on Dickens in the Radcam, I’d forgotten my library card but i hope you don’t mind that i checked you out?
To the girl in the biology lecture with the multicoloured jumper. If you were an enzyme i’d be helicase so i could unzip your genes. Wanna get together? x
To the girl at Lacrosse cocktails who lost her bike. Next time i’ll offer you a ride. From the blonde guy who found you your shoe xx
Gutted you missed your chance with that girl whose smile kindled flames of passion in the Bod?
Genuinely lost the number of the guy you got off with in the corner of Park End?
The Oxford Student can help!
Email email@example.com with a description of your lost potential love.
(No stalkers please.)