A tutor, talking about the set text for a topic: “…and I dont like this book because I haven’t written it.” One day, sir, you will…
Just outside the Oxford Union, during a conversation between two black tie clad gentlemen: “… after getting lashed tonight, how’s about we shag a Magdalen deer?” How could you resist a proposition like that?
“…Nick Clegg is basically a VERY cocky whore…” Well, Cameron certainly thinks so.
“My hair’s so straight, it’s practically homophobic.” Mmm, fashion-conscious bigotry. Tasty.
Overheard in Lloyds TSB on High Street: Cashier: “I’m sorry sir, but a Christmas card is not a valid form of ID.”
One man to another walking down the street: “I swear I definitely had sex with a man.”
Little boy to his mum, Broad Street: “Mum, mum, so which is the coolest bird?” No, son – everyone knows that cats are cool.
Two runners in University parks:
Runner 1: “It’s literally in 9th week.”
Runner 2: “Literally.” Runner 1: “Literally”.
Literally couldn’t agree more.