The boy drinking from his shoe in Jamal’s, I’d be the spice to your curry. From the girl dressed as a monkey xx
To the girl at Corpus fair on Saturday, an encounter with you and your small chelonian charge left me shaken and stirred. I’d love the chance to bond xx
To the girl in the Brasenose pidge room, I’d fill your slot. Call me
Maths lecture girl, you are my sin2 x and I am cos2 x, please,please don’t be so cruel any more because together we are one xxxxxxxxxxxx
To the red haired girl in the plant cell biology labs, want me to squirt some fertiliser into your bush? x
Beautiful girl in Wahoo, sorry for dancing naked around you. Love from the ‘lads’ xw
Gutted you missed your chance with that girl whose smile kindled flames of passion in the Bod?
Genuinely lost the number of the guy you got off with in the corner of Park End?
The Oxford Student can help!
Email firstname.lastname@example.org with a description of your lost potential love.
(No stalkers please.)