Student: “Why did you draw an aeroplane on my work?”
Tutor: “I was bored.”
Not much to say to that.
A lawyer at Pembroke discussing Britain’s virtual constitution: “So, we took a course on constitutional law, and after eight weeks we concluded that the constitution doesn’t exist.”
From some of the more sophisticated Balliol students:
Male: “If we play ring of fire we’ll be fucked before the bop even starts.”
Female: “But we’re ALWAYS fucked before the bop starts. And then we’re
fucked after or during the bop. But that’s a different kind of fucked.”
A point well made there.
American guy standing next to pedestrian crossing (to passer-by):
“Excuse me, why does the crossing make this beeping sound?”
Passer-by: “Well, I suppose it’s so blind people know when it’s green”.
American guy : “Dear Lord, they let blind people drive in this country?”
On the phone to a housemate:
“Yeah I just wondered if you could do me a favour… my clothes have been in the washing machine for 24 hours AGAIN”
In the Oxford Union bar:
“He’s so grammar school…”
In a conversation about bowler hats being sold at Primark: “sweat shop
bowler hats? Isn’t that just colonialism all over again?”